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Heifer Project International Heifer Project International gift catalog

There's no need to repeat the proverb about giving a man a fish. Even the world's ugliest web page seems to be hip to it. It's been beaten senseless by repetition, and overused to the point of exhaustion.

However, the wisdom within the proverb is the key to its longevity, and some of the most inspired acts of charity stem from this simple, pithy bit of idealism.

Providing the means of production to those struggling against poverty seems to be a sound philosophy. And it's this idea that Heifer Project International has espoused since its founding in the 1930s. By giving useful animals to families who need them, The Heifer Project encourages self-reliance, and gives a natural means of providing food and income to people in developing nations.

And from this noble beginning has emerged one of today's most surreal bits of e-commerce. The Heifer Project's online gift catalog sounds innocuous enough. But visitors will be startled to find that they can purchase any one of a number of different bits of livestock in honor of friends and loved ones.

Better yet, HPI's gift catalog allows you to buy affordable portions of its livestock. Can't afford an entire buffalo ($250)? Buy a share of a buffalo ($25)! Same wacky effect, far less money. And you're still using your credit card for something good.

For some reason, there's something uniquely pleasant about being able to click on a button to give 2/15ths of a llama to a family that needs it. It's surreal. It's modern. It's inherently good. And it makes the perfect gift for friends tired of traditional, materialistic, non-absurd presents.

Beyond this, the pleasantly-designed interface and sporadically weird text (see below) of the HPI gift catalog page makes navigation a joy. All in all, things are looking up for holiday shoppers with a yen for something fresh.

Beyond that, however, there's no doubt that sites like HPI contribute something very positive to the world. As traditional charities look for high-tech ways to do their work, we may very well see more sites with the sort of clever, comfortable interface that HPI has done such a good job of creating.

You goat what you pay for
quotes and commentary from the Heifer Project's catalog entry on "goats"

Quote: "You grew up thinking goats were smart, playful creatures, and perhaps you even wished you had one."

Commentary: Not true. Most of us grew up thinking of goats as ill-tempered, smelly, tin-can eating troll killers. Who is the author of the Heifer Project's "Gift of a Goat" page to be leaping to assumptions about our childhoods, anyway?


Quote: "...goats will thrive on vegetable waste and provide valuable fertilizer."

Commentary: The translation is obvious. This is a step toward objective truth.


Quote: "Maybe because they can handle these small animals easily, it's usually women and children who take care of goats."

Commentary: Or maybe it's because a patriarchal society will naturally relegate goat care to those powerless to resist.


Quote: "Girls especially benefit when their families receive Heifer Project goats."

Commentary: None.

Source: http://catalog.heifer.org/goat.cfm

(note: all quotes taken wildly out of context)

James Norton (jim@flakmag.com)

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