"Random 1"
A&E
Tuesdays 10 p.m. / 9 p.m. Central

America loves to see the little man get big — and the big man get little. But does America love to see the little man get a bit of help? In the series "Random 1," premiering tonight, a team of road-triping do-gooders try to make a show about helping random common-folk interesting to random common-folk. Unfortunately, what could be an inspiring antidote to the never-ending stream of unreal "Reality TV" turns out to be a jumbled, mediocre program with little going for it except its intended goodwill.

The premise of the show is fresh and simple: find random people, help them out. The cast, however, is not so simple, and not nearly so fresh. In the introduction, we learn that the "hosts," two unthreateningly handsome pals, John and Andre, have been friends for over ten years. In the past, they tell us, they spent their time complaining about the crappy state of the nation. Now they've decided to "do something about it."

Instead of volunteering in soup kitchens, or writing letters to Congress, John and Andre decide to jump in Andre's half-broken, rusty pick-up truck named "Jackie" and cruise the back streets of our fine nation offering to help strangers. How they ended up being followed by a film crew and trailed by an RV full of assistants is not made clear in the show. But they are. And it's distracting.

While "doing good" J and A also spend a good deal of time bickering. Sure, this intimacy — they bicker like an old married couple — is cute, and almost entertaining, but it's also completely (dare I say it?) random. Who are these guys? Where are they from? Are they boinking? In the show, we learn nothing about them, we're given no reason to care about their relationship, and consequently, it's hard to be captivated by their adventure. If we're going to be following two unremarkable men on their version of the definitive American "life-changing" experience (i.e. The Road Trip), shouldn't we care about their lives?

In some ways, I can understand the argument that we shouldn't. "Random 1" shouldn't be about those doing the good, it should be about the good being done. But it's not.

In the premier episode, "The Stripper and the Maestro," John and Andre find and decide to help two needy people. The first is Jan, a middle-aged man still recovering from a nervous breakdown experienced 20 years prior. Jan has a mean, alcoholic roommate, and though he doesn't drink himself, he's been unable to get firmly on his feet since he broke his Casio keyboard (normally, he plays music on the street to earn extra cash.) Navigating Jan's home terrain, J and A get the keyboard and the man into their truck while the RV team scores Jan a freebie repair at a shop 40 miles away. And then...well, and then it all works out. Keyboard gets fixed. Jan gets out to play. Cool.

Or, kinda cool. Refreshingly, there's little melodrama. Unfortunately, there is also little of dramatic interest. Jan seems like a sweet man. And J and A do help him — though in such a seemingly small way. Shouldn't Jan be getting counseling? Couldn't he be helped to find a more established job? I can understand if my Celebreality-inspired melodrama-lust has left me asking for too much, and sure, help is help is help. But simply put: the good deed makes for bland TV.

Alongside Jan's story (that of "The Maestro"), J and A also travel to Pennsylvania and meet Amber ("The Stripper"). While it's distracting to hop back and forth between the two places, two heros and two tales, the weaving narrative does add a touch of tension, a thing the narrative lacks. And while both stories drag, at least "The Stripper" features, um, a stripper.

But dimples and firm abdominals aside, the (former) stripper doesn't even have the genuine neediness of her Casio-clanging counterpart. Instead of devising a way to rid her of her abusive, nagging boyfriend ("The Former Pimp"), J and A decide to help her fulfill her dream — to be a model. (Wait, isn't there already a reality show for this?) While the RV team snags her an informational meeting with a modeling agency in New York, J and A struggle to drive her there in under four hours. That's the drama: will "Jackie" make it? (I wont tell; I don't want to spoil the suspense.)

The story, otherwise, is pretty predictable. They shock and awe her into feeling inspired to follow her dream, but then they leave her to herself. While admirable as a conservative social program ("help those who help themselves"), it just doesn't make compelling television. In the script that scans the screen at the end of the show, we learn that Amber never followed up on the modeling contacts provided by "Random 1."

Where the show fails as a social program — J and A only help each person out for a day, even if that's not enough — "Random 1" also fails as entertainment. Because no subject is tangibly helped, nothing is physically built and no long-term happiness is generated, viewers experience little of the good being done. And really, what good is reality television if viewers can't empathize with the "real" characters — the "random" common-folk — on the screen?

"Random 1" has the potential to be a reality show with substance, a lone television program doing tangible good in a tide of petty celebrations of celebrity — and maybe over the course of the season it will become this. But as long as John and Andre lodge little helping stones in the big wall of need and portray these stones in cute, short, superficial vignettes, the potential good of the program, and the real good of the deeds, will go unnoticed. Because while America may love to see the little man get big, it's doubtful they'll enjoy seeing the little man get helped by the TV-gods, and then stay little.

— Joey Rubin (joey at flakmag dot com)