The Ads of Super Bowl XLII

"Pepsi Sucks" | Pepsi

Summary: Justin Timberlake is hanging out with three friends in a diner. Suddenly he's sucked through the air, breaking through the front door of the restaurant and into the street. He stands up: wha happen? He's again sucked through the air, slammed against a building, sucked up the side of the building upside down, past a window where a blonde half- naked "woman" is revealed to be an unshaven Andy Samberg for no particular reason. Then Justin's launched through the air, accompanied by loud sucking sounds. He's in the river. He's dragged across a women's soccer game. He's sucked down a suburban street. He's crotched on a mailbox. Four times! He's sucked down a street, hits the open door of a parked Volvo station wagon, then slides down the street on the broken-off door, almost hitting a truck full of Dallas Cowboy football players. Who know him? He lands in the backyard of an preteen girl who is sucking on a bottle full of Pepsi through a straw. The announcer says "Every sip gets you closer...to Justin Timberlake MP3's, HDTV's and more."

High Point: Despite being a super-famous multimillionaire, Justin Timberlake is still enough of a regular guy to hang out in normal-guy places with his normal-guy friends.

Low Point: The more I suck, the closer I get to Justin Timberlake? What are they selling here?

Is this commercial an agent of change? Yes. Anything which manages to combine Justin Timberlake and the Superbowl without mentioning the ever-present "wardrobe malfunction" of a few years ago is a nice change.

"How to Summon a Violent Furry" | Doritos

Summary: Music-video-like info in the bottom left of the screen informs us that this commercial was created by one Billy Federighi of Beverly Hills, who seems to have won some sort of Doritos commercial contest. The Habanera from Carmen (Carmen the opera, not Carmen the "Hip Hop-era", starring Beyonce) plays as a guy in a suit carefully opens a bag of Doritos, breaks a corner off of one and delicately loads it on a mousetrap, which he places in front of a Tom & Jerry-style mouse hole in his wall. He settles down in a chair with his chips to watch what will surely be a satisfying mouseicide. Suddenly, a guy in a mouse suit bursts through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man and tackles the the Doritos-eating dandy, bashing his brains into the floor. Aaaand scene.

High Point: The pride that Billy Federighi and his mother surely are feeling, even as I type.

Low Point/Other High Point: The way the shattered Doritos spray across the floor like so much crime scene blood spatter evidence as mouseman pummels Suit Guy.

Is this commercial an agent of change? Yes, insofar as it permanently erases Doritos from the list of those mousebaits America knows to be safe and/or effective.