Super Bowl XLI: Halftime

It's nice to see that after two years of playing it safe with artists in their 60's who peaked in the 60's, the Super Bowl halftime show is returning to its time tested formula of artists in their 40's who peaked in the 80's. Apparently two years of geriatrics is a sufficient sorbet to cleanse the palate after the Jackson-Timberlake affair. But who do they select to resurrect the halftime show's non-existent hipness? Prince! That's right, the guy who wore assless pants on stage is playing the Super Bowl halftime show.

Before you judge CBS too harshly, remember that there was another factor at work three years ago: the artist in his 20's who hadn't peaked yet in the 00's. Without Justin, the nipple to end all nipples would never have been exposed. So, as long as Kelly Clarkson doesn't make a special appearance to pants The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, western civilization should be safe. For now.

The show is sponsored by Pepsi, hopefully Prince won't set his hair on fire. All we can see is a giant searchlight illuminating the (purple?) rain. The band starts up with "We Will Rock You", or rather "We Will Rock You Mumble Mumble Mumble." There's a big explosion on stage, maybe I spoke too soon about the burning hair. The light dies down again and we can see a Symbol-shaped stage.

The first actual Prince song is "Let's Go Crazy," which he must be sick to death of by now. The man himself is in a powder blue jumpsuit and wearing a do-rag, looking a lot like Little Richard. There's a couple of female dancers in black furry costumes, and at least one in all white with a halo around her head. Prince is now screaming like a little girl (or Little Richard).

For "Baby I'm a Star" the inevitable marching band comes out onto the field. I know it's a football game, but marching bands aren't exactly funky. They're kind of the opposite of funky.

The covers continue with "Proud Mary." The band appears to be wearing glow in the dark uniforms, and unfortunately they're still playing. Prince has now channeled both Freddy Mercury and Tina Turner. Jimi Hendrix can't be far behind. And lo, the next song starts with a quote from "All Along the Watchtower." Is this a veiled reference to the Jehovah's Witnesses?

Of course, he has to finish with "Purple Rain," played on his purple Symbol-shaped guitar. He asks the crowd, "Can I play this guitar?" Shouldn't that be "MAY I play this guitar?" A giant sheet comes up, and Prince's shadow is projected on it, a nice effect. In silhouette the guitar makes it look like he has a little devil's tail. Unfortunately the marching band is joining in again, but it sounds less out of place here than it did with "Proud Mary". The dancers are apparently flying little purple doves around the stage, but there's no "When Doves Cry."

So what have we learned today? Prince can still shred, and he doesn't need assless pants to do it. Marching bands still aren't funky. CBS can still do a family friendly show without resorting to booking senior citizens.

I predict next year Don Mischer gets cocky and books Madonna, who proceeds to pants herself.

— Nicholas Coleman (ncoleman@wesleyan.edu)

— graphic by Derek Evernden (derek@ocellus.net)