Superbowl XLI: Break 17

"Meet The Latest Computer-Animated Comedy Movie" | Disney

Summary: In 2037, computer-animated dogs will wear glasses, computer-animated frogs will dance around, and computer-animated T-Rexes...aw, screw it. Who cares? It's Disney. Meet the Robinsons!

High Point: It's kind of funny to have a T-Rex appreciate how small its own front limbs are.

Low Point: Do we really need another damned Disney movie? Seriously? Can't you guys just let the copyright go and relax for a decade or two?

Will this commercial calm or inflame the Iraqi civil war? If there is anything less related to the Iraqi civil war than an animated frog dancing around and talking, I really can't conceive of it.

"Get Ready to be Raped by Your Bank" | E-Trade

Summary: Did I type "raped"? I meant "robbed." Bank tellers and a bank manager don ominously comical masks and rob their own customers. If you want to avoid this fate, put your money into a sketchy dot.com bank.

High Point: The masks are actually pretty cool looking.

Low Point: We all agree that bank fees are kind of heinous, but is it really as traumatic as being robbed at gunpoint? No.

Will this commercial calm or inflame the Iraqi civil war? Once again, another commercial trading in violence. Kiss Fallujah goodbye, muthafuckahs!

"Coca-Cola is Magical" | Coca Cola

Summary: A coin goes into a Coke machine. Computer graphics (are there no end to these things? Damnation!) illustrate a bunch of crazy fat guys putting syrup into the Coke, and then a Willy Wonka / Rube Goldbergesque thing going all over the damn place and bottling the Coke, and the Coke falling out of the vending machine so a nonchalant Gen Xer (Gen Y-er? Gen-Zer?) can consume it.

High Point: Some fluffy little puffball things that stick onto the bottle at some point for some reason. Perhaps to afix the label.

Low Point: Is there a law that every commercial for a major company has to be done in computer animation? It's not that charming. Seriously, people. It takes more than this to make us drink Coke.

Will this commercial calm the Iraqi civil war? Yes, but only if all the factions are animated by Pixar.

— James Norton (jrnorton@flakmag.com)