Superbowl XLI: Break 13

"That Crazy David Spade!" | Rules of Engagement

Summary: A new CBS show featuring David Spade and someone else is being advertised. Sample dialogue follows. GUY: My girlfriend wanted a cat, and I didn't so we compromised. OTHER GUY: How? GUY: We got a cat.

High Point: Watching David Spade's career do long, slow circles around the bowl of the Toilet of Irrelevance.

Low Point: Realizing that I will never be as well-paid, well-respected, or well-known as David Spade.

Will this commercial calm or inflame the Iraqi civil war? Even members of Iraqi death squads will be wondering what the hell CBS is thinking with this particular sitcom. Net impact: nil.

"Someone's A Dirty Cop!" | CSI: Grissom has a beard

Summary: CSI is back, and Grissom is looking hunky in a new beard. Uh-oh... a dirty cop! Or something!

High Point: He looks like a pirate! Or a monk! Maybe an abbot.

Low Point: That CSI still exists. When Lennie Briscoe died, the whole cop-show thing should have been canceled out of respect.

Will this commercial calm or inflame the Iraqi civil war? Nobody anywhere will care about this promo at all.

— James Norton (jrnorton@flakmag.com)