Superbowl XLI: Break 5

"Chevrolets Are Very Musical Cars" | Chevrolet

Summary: A bunch of people — white people singing country music, black people singing rap and/or gospel...maybe a white NASCAR guy rapping, but that may have just been my imagination...sing different lyrics inspired by cars in general and Chevys specifically.

High Point: Some of the music really wasn't half bad.

Low Point: The sneaky omission of all the non-music related reasons to buy non-Chevrolet cars. This is just me speaking for me, but I buy a car based on gas mileage, crash survivability, reliability and stuff like this. Singing makes me nervous. Unless you're singing about the value you get for your money.

Will this commercial calm or inflame the Iraqi civil war? Insomuch as American cars guzzle gas and drive up the value of oil as a commodity, this commercial threatens to plunge the entire Middle East into a never-ending nightmare of war and atrocity.

"Another Great Idea From The Mind of Mencia" | Bud Light

Summary: Some dude who certainly seems to be Carlos Mencia is teaching a class of immigrants how to ask for Bud Light in English by using regionally inflected expressions such as "Give me a Bud Light, you got a problem with that?" (New York). I bet New Yorkers love to hear that! How authentically New York! At no point does he teach his students to say: "Can you please give me a better beer than Bud Light, which tastes pretty much like ditchwater?"

High Point: Not sure there is one, per se.

Low Point: Mencia: Bud Light! Ethnic dude: Boo lite. Mencia: Bud Light! Ethnic dude: Boo lite

Will this commercial calm or inflame the Iraqi civil war? Insomuch as America is perceived as a bunch of racist, imperialist oppressors who make terrible domestic light beer, this will make things much, much worse.

"HOLY CRAP IT IS DAVID LETTERMAN AND OPRAH" | David Letterman and Oprah

Summary: David Letterman cuddles up on the couch with Oprah Winfrey, an obvious play on their long running (and presumably buried) Oscar-related feud. They say something, but you can't understand what it is becaue you're all like: "HOLY CRAP IT IS DAVID LETTERMAN AND OPRAH!" Also, Indiana-native Letterman supports the Colts, and super-Chicagoan Oprah supports the Bears.

High Point: The whole thing. Not sure what the ad is for, and that makes it that much sweeter.

Low Point: None.

Will this commercial calm or inflame the Iraqi civil war? This can only help. I think. As long as it wasn't an ad for Shiite dominance or something. I couldn't tell.

— James Norton (jrnorton@flakmag.com)