Superbowl XLI: Break 4

"Snickers Smooch" | Snickers

Summary: Two guys are working on a car. One plunks a whole Snickers in his mouth. The other, so mesmerized by the Snickers, simply grabs the other half with his mouth, leading to a Lady and The Tramp style smooch. The two jump apart — one says to the other, "I think we just accidentally kissed — do something manly." One takes off his shirt and rips out a patch of chest hair. The other follows suit, both with a roar of primal pain.

High Point: The kiss — the moment that, if this commercial was a romantic comedy, the pair would realize their love.

Low Point: Realizing that neither the Snickers nor the kiss could satisfy the hunger inside them that won't go away.

Will this commercial calm or inflame the Iraqi civil war? Maybe the thing that will bond us all is nougat and low-grade homophobia.

"Shick Quattro Lab Rats" | Shick

Summary: Old campaign -- we see the lab techs from Schick Quattro telling us that yes, they have a full four (hence the name) blades. Somehow, this extra blade makes you stunningly smooth. This is tested and proven when the newly shaved man goes onto a treadmill, distracting the spandex clad woman on the treadmill beside him into a face plant.

High Point: Definitely the face plant.

Low Point: In a sophisticated lab setting, the only thing millions of dollars of razor research comes up with is, "Let's add another blade"? Furthermore, the realization that at some point, there are going to be so many blades on the razor that we will have to move our face against Shick Ciento like cheese against a grater.

Will this commercial calm or inflame the Iraqi civil war? Depends how sensitive their skin is.

"Remember The Titans? That, But With Swimming." | Pride

Summary: Read the title. Black athletes have to swim to prove themselves against whitey — only without Denzel Washington, and with Tom Arnold. I'm camping out in line as we speak.

High Point: Tom Arnold in a Speedo.

Low Point: Tom Arnold in a Speedo.

Will this commercial calm or inflame the Iraqi civil war? This may open Iraqi hearts to freedom, American-style. America — where Terrance Howard, a young pimp, can rise to be a rapper, then a swim coach in one movie.

— Colin Alexander (colin_alexander at hotmail dot com)