Superbowl XL: Break 18

Running Scared | New Line Cinema

Summary: If Guy Ritchie made Scarface and it sucked, this would be the preview. Sort of.

High Point: A cool shot of a bullet going through a mattress

Low Point: It looks like what would happen if Guy Ritchie made "Scarface" and it sucked.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? Its edginess will only enforce how scandal-plagued we truly are.

"2nd half of Shitty Car Ad No. 2" | Acura RL

Summary: An army man says, "We need them." Then there was about 4 seconds of dead air. Then some people drive in a new Acura that is Zagat rated.

High Point: Dead air.

Low Point: I once fell in love with a woman who drove an Acura. She broke my heart.

WIll it soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? When I bought my last car, I considered getting an Acura, but then I remembered Her and decided against it.

"Big Meat and Wall Weapons" | Outback Steakhouse

Summary: An Ira Glass lookalike talks in an authentic Australian accent about the big slab of meat on his plate. Then he makes an analogy between boomerangs and the desire to return to the steakhouse. Then he rips a boomerang off the wall of the restaurant and breaks some stuff.

High Point: The meat.

Low Point: The meat.

WIll it soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? In a nation of Perkin's, Applebee's, Tumbleweed's, TGI Friday's and Denny's, it takes Australian chrome-plated balls to create a steakhouse chain without a name ending with "'s."

"Forget immigrants. Fucking chimps are taking our jobs!" | CareerBuilder.com

Summary: Hundreds, or perhaps thousands, of chimpanzees leap about an office, hooting, humping, making mayhem. They make chimp noises, they grin those funny chimp grins. Their supervisor, a dour and balding human, tries to get them focused on a sales chart. But they won't focus. They're precocious chimps.

High Point: The chimps' collective bliss.

Low Point: Do corporate presentations still rely on single-variable poster-board charts? That seems less believable than an entire department full of chimpanzees.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? The implication is that a chimpanzee can do your job. Which is almost certainly true. Have a lovely night, American.

Team Alpha