Superbowl XL: Break 17

"Uh! Me so horny!" | Honda Ridgeline

Summary: You know that chick on the mudflaps? The one with the bodacious silhouetted boobies? She comes alive, in all her silhouette bodaciousness and begins to admire the car whose tires she's been protecting from mud. She seductively touches the lines of the truck, and gingerly opens the door. Behind the wheel sits Yosemite Sam, who invites her to "BACK OFF." The announcer tells us that even those who have spent their whole life with trucks will be amazed by this car. The Honda Ridgeline.

High Point: It doesn't just objectify women, but cartoon characters too!

Low Point: Those mud flap characters usually live on the back of Ford F-Series trucks. This attempt at butchness makes Honda look like that Mathlete in middle school who wants to sit at the Jock table. Come on, Honda. You're better than that.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? Absolutely. This commercial goes down as smooth as a Lee Greenwood song. Even if it was sung by a Japanese auto maker.

"International Cheers" | herestobeer.com

Summary: Though not everyone in the world is celebrating Superbowl Sunday, the beverage of choice for the occassion is internationally appriciated. Herestobeer.com presented a simple translation of that idea: a quick trip around the world, where everyone raises their glasses in their native lands. Not to toast to anything specific, but just in tribute to the drink that that is usually part of — and the reason for — a celebration.

High Point: That the ad is for herestobeer.com; not a specific brew.

Low Point: None. It's difficult to disagree with the fact that beer is great.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? It'll drive them to drink more, and drive concern for anything else out of their minds.

"We hope the World Baseball Classic captures 1/985th of this audience. But c'mon." | Major League Baseball

Summary: Faces of various baseball players are shown. Slowly, they are illuminated by the colors of their national flags. A narrator says things. So does Roger Clemens.

High Point: Ichiro's wee face.

Low Point: Presumably, A-Rod couldn't decide which flag should be projected onto his face, so he didn't participate. Maybe that's the high point.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? A scandal-ridden sport is hardly an antidote to thoughts of scandal.

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Team Omega