Superbowl XL: Break 12

"Monster Baby" | Hummer

Summary: A giant Godzilla-esque monster destroys a city, comes face to face with an anime-style Giant Mecha... but instead of the expected block-busting brawl, love ensues. They date, have sex and the Monster gives birth to a Hummer 3.

High Point: Giant Robot versus Giant Monster action!

Low Point: What is this, Brokeback Monster?

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? No. Didn't President Bush just warn against the dangers of this sort of monster-robot hybrid in the State of the Union address?

"Biohazard Suit Land" | PS Brand Cleaner

Summary: A bunch of people in big, plastic biohazard suits go about their idyllic suburban lives, diving in pools, frolicking, etc. PS (Practical Solutions) brand cleaner promises an easier way to "reduce the spread of bacteria."

High Point: That you don't have to wear a biohazard suit at your son's T-ball game because these products represent a Practical Solution to reducing the spread of bacteria.

Low Point: Complacency will kill you when that monkey gets loose and turns your own suburban cul-de-sac into a hot zone — and your biohazard gear is nowhere to be found.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? Yes. Americans love an easily-applied solution to evil forces to make them feel safe.

"Furniture Idol" | Walter E. Smithe

Summary: Various owners of Chicago-based custom furniture store Walter E. Smithe lip sync the store's theme song ("You dreaam it, you buiiiiiild it!") with American Idol-style sets and lighting.

High Point: It was only 20 seconds.

Low Point: The Smithe Brothers look and sound like singing Republicans.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? Singing Republicans help no one.

[PREVIOUS BREAK]

Team Gamma