Superbowl XL: Break 10
"Platinum Status Business Travelers Enter Mile-High Club" | Ameriquest
Summary: A darkened airplane, presumably an overnight flight. A professional-looking female attempts to silently climb across neighboring passengers. Instead, she somehow illuminates the cabin and lands astride a male
business traveler. Both appear disheveled. Much of her is revealed. Nearby passengers assume they've caught the pair in an act of crazed, Dionysian lust.
High Point: (Almost) sex on a plane.
Low Point: Let us simply say that this is not the couple that
GoDaddy.com would have selected for a similar ad.
Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? Eh.
It reminds us to appreciate the petty scandals of our lives as dead bumps on
the vast web of American corporate servitude. So yeah.
"Meteor Phone" | Motorola
Summary: A meteor breaks above the earth's atmosphere and a piece falls to the earth, burning in the sky. In its crater, the meteorite is inundated by nature's worst. Rain, snow, glaciers. Seas ebb and flow. The space rock weathers down to a hand-sized stone — now a smooth, black phone. A barefoot Motorola user discovers and opens the device, whispering, "Hello, Moto."
High point: It makes me think of the cute woman in the Motorola poster in the window of the phone shop on Lawrence and Ashland.
Low point: I will never meet that Motorola girl. Whence thou, sweet poster girl?
Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? Those who are terrified by a CGI Ragnarokin' cosmic annihilation will be assured that the big meteor will just turn into an attractive phone after years of erosion. Ninety-eight percent of life on earth will be wiped out, but telecommunications are forever.
"Arr, sharpie!" | Sharpie Retractable
Summary: Arrr! A theme-park pirate mascot overcomes impossible odds to sign an autograph for a little girl. He owes it all to the retractable sharpie, the theme-park pirate's saving grace.
High Point: Finally, a deadpan pirate!
Low Point: The pirate gets his hook stuck in a garbage can. Ew.
Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? No. Pirates are scary.
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Team Alpha
— graphic by Derek Evernden (derek@ocellus.net)
