Superbowl XL: Break 9

"Joan is Tired" | US Cellular

Summary: Joan Cusack runs about with a cell phone, with her unique style of completely harmless comedy.

High Point: None to speak of. Like all of these ads, they are harmless and offer no lasting impression, other than reconsidering yet again whether we're happy at Joan's shill position or disappointed.

Low Point: The realization that we're disappointed.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? Unless cell phones inspire conspiracy in your mind, it probably won't affect you one way or the other.

"Lexus RX400" | Lexus

Summary: An affluent town, blanketed with snow. Inside a quaint private school, a child sits at his desk, worried. A Lexus RX400 races with ease through the driving snow. The teacher quiets the kids, telling them that she isn't sure if their parents will be able to pick them up. The Lexus drives on. A child runs out the front door and jumps inside of the shiny-smooth Lexus. The children still left at school by their parents gaze longingly out the window. Slow fade. Lexus.

High Point: The implicit conclusion that although the parents of these young students love their children, they don't love them as much as the parents of our young protagonist. Parents who love their children don't leave them in a snowstorm. If they loved their children enough to keep them safe during winter, they would have bought a Lexus.

Low Point: The realization that affluence itself isn't enough. You may send your child to the most Hogwarts-like gothic private school in the most untouched of American landscapes, but that doesn't mean doody if you don't buy a Lexus RX400.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? No. It will eat away at America's resolve. It reinforces the unspoken dread among the middle class that even the wealthiest of Americans, warm in their private schools and private homes, are not safe from the unknown.

"A Surprise For His Wife" | American Airlines

Summary: A white, middle-class husband cleans out his medicine cabinet stocked with nail polish, throwing all the little bottles into a suitcase. He then goes to pick up (or maybe or drop off) his wife at the airport. They embrace underneath a sign reading "99 Surprising Wife With Dinner."

High Point: The confusing opening scene. He could have been packing up to perform in Vegas as a fabulous showgirl.

Low Point: That the packing scene didn't lead to that.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? Only if they don't turn away from initial confusion and watch it in its entirety.

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Team Omega