Superbowl XL: Break 2

"Papa, why do you like Soccer?" | Toyota Hybrid

Summary: A car tools down the road, driven by a vaguely Euro father whose oh-so-cute son sits in the back seat, asking "Papa, why did you buy a hybrid?" The answer? The future. Which is also why he learned English. A-ha.

High Point: The only ad in this break in which the protagonist doesn't face a grizzly, wild-animal-inflicted death.

Low Point: The only ad in this break in which the protagonist doesn't face a grizzly, wild-animal-inflicted death.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? No. Americans contemplating a hybrid for its fuel-economy advantages must now learn Spanish and wear Axa before purchase.

"FedEx Caveman Commercial" | FedEx

Summary: A caveman releases a tiny pteranodon with a message tied to its leg. It is quickly eaten by a T-Rex. The caveman returns to his cave, where he reports to his caveboss that the package didn't make it. The caveboss, hardened by his many years in the world of cavebusiness, promptly fires the cave employee when he discovers the package wasn't sent via FedEx, despite FedEx's nonexistence at that point. The cave employee then exits the cave and kicks a small dinosaur that just happens to be merrily passing by. Then he gets stepped on by a giant something or other.

High Point: Either when the pteranodon is eaten by the T-Rex or when the newly unemployed caveman kicks the small dinosaur.

Low Point: The tragic moment when the cave employee harshly receives his notice.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? Quite the opposite. Not even the noble caveman is safe from the heavy hand of his corrupt corporate leadership.

"Bud Light Soothes the Savage Beast"| Bud Light

Summary: A crazed bear chases would-be outdoorsmen through the woods. One of them, cornered, presents the bear with a Bud Light, staving off an attack until his clueless friend runs by and swipes the free beer.

High Point: The initial shot of the two men being chased, where it appears one of them will be bear food.

Low Point: The selfishness of the man who swipes the free beer. His lack of concern for his peer smacks of the Republican Party's core tenets.

Will this commercial soothe the minds of scandal-weary Americans? Its rampant "every man for himselfism" may lead some to question whether their privacy is worth sacrificing for Bush's "terrorist surveillance." Otherwise, no.

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Team Beta