Super Bowl XXXVII: Break 4

"Yao can't buy something" | Visa Check Card

Summary: Ten-foot tall Asian NBA basketball star Yao Ming tries to buy something, they ask for his ID, get his name mixed up.

Will this commercial save our failing economy? Yogi Berra at the end. It's, like, funny when he mixes words up!

Economic Impact: If a store clerk doesn't know a 10-foot-tall Asian basketball player, then who will they know? Anyone can buy anything, screwing up our economy even more. Besides, it doesn't say much about the Visa security. Why does having a debit card mean you're who you say you are? What if this 10-foot-tall Asian basketball player mugged someone?

"Subway" | White House Office of Drug Control Policy

Summary: Ghosts of various victims harass some guy on a subway, saying he helped kill them by funding terrorists.

High Point: Well, the whole thing, really. Creepy in a "Twilight Zone" sort of way.

Economic impact: Remains to be seen. Does the public really feel that smoking a joint abets terrorism? And why is this guy the only passenger on this subway, besides the ghosts? Is he dreaming? Is it like Vanilla Sky? Did he kill everyone in New York City and he rides the subway alone?

"NHL Hockey and Pro Bowl" | ABC

Summary: Girls in bikinis run down the beach, camera pulls back to reveal a hockey player and football player running alongside them. But the players just keep running and don't make any moves on the girls next to them. Odd. It has sports, babes and a sandy beach, but it's vaguely gay. Sorta like Men's Health magazine.

High Point: Duh ... chicks in bikinis!

Economic impact: None. I mean, who cares about the Pro Bowl and NHL Hockey?

"Headlight" | Nissan

Summary: Nissan headlight spins around and flashes lights. Similar to those dancing iMac ads from a few years ago. But at least you can do something with a computer.

High Point: When it ends. How exciting can an ad for a headlight be?

Economic impact: None. Not that cars aren't important to the economy, but headlights have never made a difference one way or the other.

— Bob Sassone (bobsassone@yahoo.com)