We always knew the Sun had an agenda, but today's front page is a lesson in evenhandedness for New York's aspiring journalists; it shows exactly how not to write stories. Three of today's front-page articles lack any serious reporting at all.

The first story, "Protest on Foul Air Brews in Manhattan," describes "a raucous town hall meeting" in which residents of Lower Manhattan aired complaints about poor air quality to the Federal Emergency Management Agency and the Red Cross. The story reads like a press release from angry residents. Writer R.H. Sager hardly deals with any policy at all, writing only that FEMA and the Red Cross have denied automatic aid consideration to residents north of Canal Street. As for the scientific basis behind the complaints, there is nothing in the story at all to indicate how the residents — or the FEMA, the Red Cross and the EPA, for that matter — justify their positions. Sager reports — no quote here — that "the EPA and city officials have repeatedly assured residents that the air is safe," but offers nothing further to judge the EPA's credibility, except a brace of quotes from residents who doubt it. In fact, every single quote save one comes from a resident (or a politician, two of whom were on hand to condemn the agencies); in the very last paragraph of this 1000-word plus story, Sager finally allows a FEMA representative a "we have been listening." The Red Cross's representative, who "met with similar hostility," does not even get named in the story. And to punctuate its steep angle on the story, the Sun quotes an organizer as saying that "the air is killing us" in the subhead.

While Smarternysun supports clean air and government accountability, it hopes never to come under fire at a town hall meeting covered by the Sun.

The second example in abysmal reporting is the just-below-the-fold story, "War Against Israel is Roiling World Bank, IMF." It relates how Jewish employees of the World Bank and the IMF are upset that agency staff are fundraising for Palestinian humanitarian organizations such as the Red Crescent Society (the Arab equivalent of the Red Cross) with agency matching funds, as per agency protocol (a charity-friendly policy practiced by most large organizations, public or private). They say that allowing staff members to fundraise for Middle-East groups represents a "political statement," which the agencies' charters do not allow. Writer Rachel Donadio, however, quotes four Jewish staffers and an open letter from them, but not a single Red Crescent fundraiser. She quotes the bank repeatedly as well, but says that "a member of the World Bank-IMF Muslim Staff Society who helped organize the fund drive did not return a call for comment." Four calls to Jewish staffers, two agency spokesmen, and one unreturned call to a fundraiser? Donadio couldn't have tried other fundraisers? She couldn't have tried calling back? After all, it's a basic journalistic requisite to get both sides of the story.

Additionally, Donadio brings up an interesting — and for once, newsworthy — point in what looks like a nut-graf, saying "The conflict over the fund drive mirrors an ongoing debate about the politicization of the institutions," but never comes back to explain.

The last news gaffe is perhaps the most egregious. The article, "Ferrer, Sharpton Join to Oppose Harsh Drug Law," by Smarternysun favorite "Staff Reporter for the Sun" (read: rehashed press release), tells how the two plan to lobby against the state's harsh drug laws for cocaine users. They will lobby? It's not even news yet! But worst of all, the 500-word brief lacks a single quote. Not one. Any rank amateur knows to quote sources to legitimize the story, but as we've seen time and again, the Sun isn't really interested in legitimacy.

Smarternysun signs off today's dispatch wondering why the Sun would recount Seth Mnookin's schmoozing from the White House Correspondents Dinner on the front page in "Bloomberg's Bacchanalia Becomes Louche." No doubt the Bloomberg-sponsored after-party had beautiful lights and a delectable menu, but who's really interested in portobello mushroom dumplings and what the reporter said to Chloe Sevigny? Not anybody who's looking for front-page news on, of all places, the front page.