Today's top two stories both being filed by the Sun's Jerusalem Post bureau, we turn to the third article, the latest in the Sun quixotic anti-Christo campaign. "Gates-Gate?" asks today's lead-photo caption, in response to the French artist Christo's 1981 plan (read: proposal) to install fabric-draped gates in Central Park. The accompanying all-caps headline reports "Christo Facing City Hearing on Park Gates." The wit is pretty heavy-handed, considering this is hardly a scandal — beyond a faxed response to the paper's questions, there's no evidence that the artist is even particularly interested in the plan anymore. But the Sun is.

By an ambiguity of language, yes, Christo's plan is facing a hearing. But to be exact, it might face a hearing if Betsy Gotbaum, the city's public advocate, calls for one. Thus the real story, as is often the case on the Sun's front page, is several levels removed from the headline. Gotbaum said she is considering asking for a City Council hearing "to make sure that everybody gets a chance to say what they think." And even if she does call for a hearing, the council doesn't need to grant one. Those are two maybes without which the Sun's self-assured headline holds no water. In reality, the article is an airing of some long-repressed grudges on the part of a handful of uptowners — or, as the Sun puts it, the "donors who have paid to restore the park." Ah, we see — some deep pockets who think they own Central Park are trying to drum up press for themselves by trotting out an issue that, until they brought it up, wasn't exactly pressing.

This is the second time the Sun has blown this story out of proportion. Earlier, it bemoaned the likelihood that the Bloomberg administration would implement the Christo project simply because in the past, Mayor Bloomberg has expressed his appreciation for Christo's work. At least the Sun is consistent. Of course, you know what they say about a foolish consistency.

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FORGEA WATCH: Almost unbelievably, the dog is above the fold again. The anonymous Staff Reporter for the Sun (read: wire story) reports a veterinarian saying, "It's difficult to express just how delighted we are today to finally meet Hokget," a.k.a. Forgea, the dog that was stranded above an abandoned commercial vessel. Even more strangely, the angle of the story's headline and lead are that the dog's photo has been released. A vet is "delighted?" A dog got its picture taken? This is hardly front-page material, if news at all, and Smarternysun wonders where the paper's priorities are.

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WIRE WATCH: Today's 10 Sun bylines — out of 24 total news items — may at first seem impressive. After all, the paper usually rings in with about five of its own stories. But a full five of those "originals" are penned by the elusive "Staff Reporter for the Sun." Given that one of those is a story on two Congressional votes supporting Israel (the Sun doesn't have a Washington bureau) and the above-mentioned Forgea story (previously attributed to the AP), Smarternysun wonders if "Staff Reporter for the Sun" isn't just a souped-up new title for "copy intern."