Battle of the Buzz
by Kevin Baker

Way over there, in a decadent back corner of an immense palace-compound, a degenerate old lifestyle lay busted. At the same time, way over here, a fresh new lifestyle magazine launched into the world, bustin'. Mere coincidence? Of course. Nothing more. Breathtakingly intricate tango in the delicate balancing act of the cosmos? Well, maybe some of that, too.

Radar Magazine	Uday Hussein
Loaded with brash cover lines, unexpected story angles, and powerful photos	Papered walls of personal gymansium with downloaded photos of naked prostitutes
Provides "affirmation and information" for "media-savvy post-boomers"	Thirty-nine years old; had troubled relationship withfather; was president of many media outlets
Stable of writers includes Candace Bushnell and Bret Easton Ellis, among others	Personal zoo housed lion, two cheetahs, five cubs, and a young bear
Appeals to consumers aged 25-39,"among the fastest-growing in buying power and influence"	Founded the Fedayeen Saddam, a paramilitary group charged with suppressing internal dissent; was elected to the National Assembly in 2000 with 99.99 percent of votes
"Bold irreverence and smart content distinguish it from the crowd ofbland, celeb-driven clones"	Fleet of luxury cars distinguished him fromcrowds of drab dress-alike pedestrians
"Celebrity Listings" itemize such things as "Eminem's 10 Favorite CDs" and "The 5 Best Places to Pick Up Chicks" by Tobey Maguire... and Sandra Bernhard	Used Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" to set the mood; favorite films included Ocean's Eleven and Men in Black; black book listed hundreds of women's names and phone numbers
Described as "smart but not pretentious, stylish but not superficial, irreverent but not cynical, and comfortable with both high culture and low"	Had bed painted in gold trim, bathroom sink and tub fitted with fixtures in a swan motif; lit custom-made Cuban cigars with US $100 bills; preferred apple-flavored tobacco in his hubbly-bubbly and mashed bananas with milk for his breakfast
Publicist boasted the mag wouldn't pay writers more than $1 a word	As head of Iraqi Olympic Committee, earned reputation for jailing or torturing athletes who did not meet his standards
Boasts to advertisers it can deliver "the sweet spot of 20 million women and men who are driving the culture"	Used ginseng sexual fortifiers

E-mail Kevin Baker at vinbaker@canada.com.