The Christopher Kimballotron

Fed up with having to wait two months for the next folksy blast of Cook's Illustrated editor Christopher Kimball's editorial column? Wait no longer! Thanks to recent advances in the field of artificial intelligence, a bit of software can step in and write Kimball's column, sparing his mind for more important tasks such as rating various types of whisks or perfecting a recipe for pineapple upside-down cake.

Just input a few key variables and before you can rate fourteen types of ketchup according to their suitability for the home chef, you've got 5 percent of an issue of Cook's Illustrated!