A Special Message for Parents from Baby Evil Genius
By James Stegall

Celebrity is no longer a luxury in today's cutthroat world. As a concerned parent, you cannot afford to allow your precious child to enter adulthood without the vital benefits of fame. No one wants to be responsible for a child's mediocrity.

What many parents forget, however, is that fame has many faces — and as time goes on, events prove that infamy (fame's notorious cousin) is often more powerful than plain, accomplishment-driven fame.

To help parents harness their children's innate tendencies early, we are proud to present the "Baby Evil Genius" Collection of videos, DVDs and musical recordings.

Moms will appreciate our documentary footage of world leaders giving political speeches — only the most effective propagandists are used — counter-balanced by broad graphics depicting world change in the most simplistic, often biblical, terms.

Dads will enjoy watching sports alongside their toddler, instilling the do-or-die codes of competition, victory and defeat and dominance and submission through visceral hockey matches, professional wrestling and strictly K.O. boxing contests.

An Important Choice for Parents
Why should a concerned parent make the decision to encourage infamy rather than fame? Celebrity is the edge your child needs to succeed. However, today's world is ruled by a moral spectrum increasingly based on relativistic values, meaning everything is ultimately OK — or as pop culture puts it: It's all good. Nothing is good or bad until the media declares it so, and an act or decision the law might consider wrong could actually be a coup of the highest order in the eyes of the public.

It's never too early to prepare your child for success. An event or act conducted at a young age can ferment and grow into invaluable notoriety later in life, when your offspring is in the best position to take advantage of their earlier exposure. Public opinion and mores change, and what is shocking now could be merely risque 15 years from now. Early infamy is just as vital as a trust fund or 529 college savings plan.

How do our videos work?
Like most crucial skills and talents, evil genius develops best when cultivated right from the beginning. Our videos focus on the potential pitfalls of sharing and working together, showing instead how the proven methods of great minds like Machiavelli can ensure your child always maintains the upper hand. Verbal skills and logical reasoning are stressed above all other subjects. You will see a dramatic increase in your child's budding debate skills, and any verbal put-downs will be met with any of our hundreds of scathing responses.

"Baby Evil Genius" uses role-playing with talented child actors to teach vital skills such as crisis-engineering, personal exploitation and weakness recognition. Your little one will enter the cruel world will all the tools necessary to survive and thrive. And when the opportunity for infamy finally arrives, your precious child will be ready take every advantage available and enter the media spotlight victorious.

Why simply teach the ABCs when you can instill the fundamental realities of cause and effect and strength and weakness? The "Baby Evil Genius" multimedia collection is reality-based, unlike any other product available for your child. Be sure to check out the complete line of videos and DVDs available in the Baby Evil Genius series, including Fascists & Dictators; Scrooge McDuck; Hugh Heffner, Bob Guccioni & Larry Flynt; Coups and Juntas; and many more!

Baby Evil Genius products are available through Wal-Mart, Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com and other world-dominating retailers.

E-mail James Stegall at james@sonewmedia.com.