Singles of the World, Unite!
by Luciano D'Orazio
Valentine's Day is one of those holidays for which you can't sit on the fence: You
either love it or hate it. I count myself in the latter category, and not because
I'm some pathetic, lonely misanthrope. The day of everlasting love just brings out
the worst in people. Couples, especially those who have been together for a while,
lord their relationships over the partnerless peons through slobbery public displays
of affection, parading themselves as winners in the game of love. Big business, of
course, has built entire industries (greeting cards, chocolate, flowers, jewelry)
around the needs of these people in preparation for the big day. In retaliation,
singles
(those who are not themselves finding someone to date for the big day) gather to
mope and sulk, using cop-out names like The Lonely Hearts Club, calling out the
greeting card and chocolate businesses as panderers and badmouthing the lovestruck
as stupid, crass and disgusting.
But lately, it isn't just the pathetic, lonely misanthropes who have a beef with
Feb. 14. Globally, Valentine's Day is rubbing a lot of people the wrong way.
In Iran, where just about anything rubs the mullahs the wrong way, plainclothes
policemen are cracking down on shop owners who sell Valentine cards and display
heart-themed decorations. As predicted, the government cites Islamic law, which
considers public embracing between men and women taboo and Valentine's Day as a
decadent Western influence. In India, Hindu nationalists raided shops in Bombay
and burned greeting cards in a weeklong protest against the holiday, looting of
card shops, trashing chocolates and harassing couples holding hands. Like the
mullahs, the Hindu nationalists fear that Valentine's Day will corrupt Indian
society with commercial Western values. Even in New Zealand, the exchanging of
gifts and cards at a high school in Auckland is restricted, as it is considered
distracting to students.
Their fears have some justification. The American version of the holiday (chocolate,
hearts, cards, the whole nine yards) is spreading rapidly across Europe and Asia.
Paris is awash in red and pink, which would make many an amateur philosopher on the
Left Bank wince. In Singapore, the government is launching a pro-family initiative
to coincide with Valentine's Day, the "Romancing Singapore" campaign. It is an
attempt by the government to improve Singapore's birthrate, which has been moribund
through 14 years, complete with a theme song, romance tips and discount romantic
dinners across the country. Even the repressive efforts in Iran and India can't
dampen the ardor of Valentine's Day among young people in these countries, who defy
conservative opinion in public embraces and chocolate hearts. All of a sudden,
one's romantic status on February 14th matters not only in America, but across the
globe.
There is nothing inherently wrong about a holiday that celebrates love. Saint
Valentine, for whom the holiday is named, was martyred in 270 A.D. for secretly
marrying Roman soldiers against the wishes of Emperor Claudius II. Even a hard-bitten
Iranian imam, who sees the Pope as an infidel, would sympathize with such a story.
The need for romantic bonding is so universal, it should be no surprise that
Valentine's Day has spread like wildfire.
But maybe the mullahs have a point (though I'm loathe to admit it). What has spread
across the planet is not a pure, true holiday celebrating love, but rather the
commercial enterprises that profit from those romantic yearnings. Love, even
embracing, is not necessarily a Western influence. The Godiva chocolates, the
Tiffany jewels and the Hallmark cards certainly are. It is those things that have
spread so easily, and it's these things that make Valentine's Day so irritating to
many people.
It is not wrong that Western exports permeate through other regions. But they tend
to send the wrong message about the holiday by funneling it into a vision built for
profit rather than to truly celebrate love. Instead of celebrating quietly with your
significant other with a nice card or dinner, we're encouraged to spend huge sums of
money on diamonds, expensive chocolates, fancy restaurants and discount rates at
clubs and bars. Conspicuous consumption, therefore, restricts who and how one can
celebrate Valentine's Day. It becomes a holiday of haves and have-nots, and the
haves, those already attached to someone, are obliged to flaunt their status in their
consumption. And it ticks off the rest, many of whom have searched in vain for
romance.
Iranian and Indian youths are apparently ga-ga over Hallmark cards and heart-shaped
chocolates, much to the dismay of conservative clerics. But just wait a few years.
They won't need to learn from the French about spitting on American imports. And it
won't be because of militant youths yearning for a country free of foreign influences.
It'll be due to pissed-off legions of single men and women, who've been sick and
tired of having Valentine's Day rubbed into their faces like MTV and Coke.
What will happen is probably what already has happened in America: Valentine's Day
will be so awash in Whitman Samplers and FTD roses that the original meaning, the
celebration of love, will be lost. It will be just another holiday where we go through the
motions. It will become an international, transcultural holiday for exhausting
expenses and frustrating the lovelorn.
E-mail Luciano D'Orazio at loudogs1@aol.com.
— graphic by Derek Evernden (derek@ocellus.net)
