Weekly Shredder 50:
Bolton's Pen Is a Sword
by James Norton
John Bolton has taken a lot of flak from this column. So, rather than just judging him on his old record of being a hotheaded bastard, we're reviewing a bit of his actual handiwork as the recess-appointed UN ambassador.
Bolton and his minions, in their mission to better the world, came up with something like 14 million revisions for the draft "outcome document" for a world summit on poverty and UN reform.
Without further ado, John Bolton's top 10 deletions from the outcome document:
10. ...and the respect for international law DELETED: so as to maintain international peace and security
And why not delete this particular bit? It's a bit awkward to be talking about international law preserving peace and security, when you — as the world's premier power — have smirkingly ignored international law to launch an invasion predicated on "evidence" of an urgent threat.
9. We reaffirm the vital importance of an effective multilateral system... to achieve progress in the areas of development, security and human rights DELETED: and commit to spare no efforts in promoting and strengthening the effectiveness of the organization and implementation of its decisions
Pretty odd language for a guy whose sole mandate is reforming the United Nations. Unless, of course, by reforming, Bolton means hobbling.
8. We recognize that development, peace and security and human rights are interlinked and mutually reinforcing DELETED: and cannot be enjoyed without each other.
An interesting choice. Bolton acknowledges that peace, security, human rights and development are good... but is highly interested in suggesting that any of them number may be optional, and/or disposable at any point in time.
7. We reaffirm that gender equality and the promotion and protection of the full enjoyment of all human rights and fundamental freedoms for all, DELETED: in particular for women and children
Ha-HA! Here a bold blow has been struck against the power-crazed women and children of the world. Let... the... eagle soar!
6. We further reaffirm our commitment to ... sustainable debt financing DELETED: and external debt relief, and enhancing the coherence and consistency of the international monetary, financial and trading systems
So, let's get this straight. One on hand, you've got Bono and many of the world's most disadvantaged women and children who — notwithstanding their mad grab for world power — would benefit greatly from foreign debt relief. On the other hand, you've got John Bolton and the world's bloated plutocrats. In a knock-down brawl, the smart money remains — sadly — on Bolton. Now, if Suge Knight could get fully behind third-world debt relief, we might be getting somewhere...
5. good governance at DELETED: all levels INSERTED: the national level
National corruption: bad. Regional and local corruption: often surprisingly good. Don't forget Katherine Harris and the Florida Miracle of 2000.
4. Promote the implementation of the United Nations Convention Against Corruption and ... the adoption of policies that emphasize accountability, transparent public sector management and competitive markets DELETED: and corporate responsibility and accountability
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If — and only if — hard evidence might arise that corporations could harm the public good in a substantial way, this might be a questionable deletion. Until then? Merely common sense!
3. Fulfill commitments to significantly reduce the loss of biodiversity by 2010 and DELETED: support the implementation of the Convention on Biological Diversity and the Johannesburg commitment for a significant reduction in the rate of loss of biodiversity by 2010.
Biodiversity, shmiodiversity. If one large wooden boat's worth of biodiversity was good enough for Noah, it should be good enough for us. And if you disagree with that, you don't respect my religious faith. Booyah!
2. We further reaffirm that core values and principles, such as respect for human rights and human dignity, freedom, equality, solidarity, tolerance, DELETED: respect for nature
But of course. Respect for nature is second nature for Bush and company. So clearly implied that it doesn't even need to be stated! Bolton, in fact, is respecting nature right here by saving the paper and ink it would take to redundantly restate the administration's deep respect for the environment.
1. ... and the right of self-determination of peoples DELETED: which remain under colonial domination and foreign occupation
[cough] Heh, heh. Yeah. Well. We can all agree that we've come a long way since the naive days of the Revolution.
There you have it. There are some passages that are difficult to address in this format (such as the 20-plus insertions and deletions that remove any suggestion that raising development assistance to measurable target levels might be a good thing for the world in general), but that's the gist.
Other than a glaring paper trail that indicates a trollish hatred of international peace and security, foreign debt relief, women and children, self-determination and, uh, "nature," this Bolton guy isn't all that bad.
Bush White House: 1. Nutty, hair-trigger moderates who opposed his ambassadorship: 0.
Editor's note: After more than a year of quasi-regular updates, The Weekly Shredder is going on hiatus. James Norton is chest-deep in research for his upcoming book, "Saving General Washington," and will be sinking into a potentially fatal swamp of reading and writing from now until his manuscript is due. Look for the Shredder's reappearance in late November, and — until then — sporadic appearances as events warrant and guest writers allow.
E-mail James Norton at jrnorton@flakmag.com.
— graphic by Derek Evernden (derek@ocellus.net)
