Poland
by James Norton

"Whither Poland?"

Not a question that springs to the lips of many Americans, but, still, something worth thinking about in light of Eastern Europe's evolution from a Russian firebreak to a pivotal wing of the world's diplomatic stage. With Poland's recent (and historic) entrance into NATO, it has joined nations such as Britain and Israel to rank amongst America's closest friends overseas.

The Polish government grasps the importance of this more than anyone, perhaps, and in one piece of semi-official literature entitled "Poland in NATO," pains are taken to assert Poland's worthiness as a military partner.

"Compared with the 5-million strong, but completely demoralized French army [in WWII], the Polish contingent of less than 90,000 stood out with its courage and discipline. When France capitulated in 1940, some Polish soldiers managed to escape to England or neutral countries to continue the fight."

While comparing one's army to France's armed forces is not necessarily impressive per se, it does demonstrate a sensible Polish instinct to do what comes naturally to the rest of the western alliance: mock France.

This reviewer, working on behalf of Flak Magazine, sought to obtain sensitive data about the nation in order to execute a more perfect review. First step: always ask the embassy of a given nation, politely. This occasionally obviates the need for espionage, bribery or serious research.

Thankfully, the hyper-efficient Poles whisked a large packet of valuable information into Flak's PO box within the week, where it would sit for an interminable amount of time before being picked up and actually read. The packet was remarkable, being stuffed with useful (and arguably useful) information including this:

And this:

Both say quite a lot about Poland, in their own way. The first piece of data clearly tells us that the Polish GDP has expanded rapidly with the fall of Communism, but is currently in a leveling-off phase. The second piece of data tells us that Polish girls are hot.

Beyond that, Poland has a reputation for being one of the most intellectually serious nations of the Eastern Bloc (or Europe as a whole, for that matter.)

Despite the advance of capitalism and democracy, Poland is still acclaimed as center of knowledge and studious, brooding students who study games of chess or great literature like Americans reading the latest news on how Star Wars is doing at the box office.

Inexplicably, they also sometimes dress their womenfolk like this:

That aside, it's impressive to witness the change wrought in Poland since its emergence from the shadow of the Soviet Union. The birthplace of Chopin, and home to jazz, ballet, folk dancing and a treasury of wilderness-based beauty, Poland makes a great place to visit for yet another reason: its historic castles and churches (particularly in Krakow) are stunningly beautiful, and quite well preserved.

Nonetheless, don't eat the thin, dry, grey pieces of meat in clear gelatin that they serve you at the hotel buffet in Warsaw.

The verdict? The economy's on the mend, the government is relatively stable and lining up with the world's remaining hegemonic power, and there's no shortage of cool things to look at. Czech it out.

E-mail James Norton at jrnorton@flakmag.com.