Buckcherry
"Crazy Bitch"
Now, more than ever, it's possible for much of the general public to hear quality music. Between downloading individual tracks or entire albums from
iTunes, subscribing to radio services like Sirius or XM Radio, sampling new music from artists' MySpace pages or hearing new programming on podcasts,
eager listeners have a variety of options to find interesting and engaging new music.
Amid this plenty, one would think that commercial radio would try to increase its appeal by improving the quality of its song selection and content. And some have.
Unfortunately, however, most commercial radio stations continue serving as a conduit for all the mediocre music that sensible listeners are so quickly and easily escaping. Take, for example, Buckcherry's new track, "Crazy B." Stylistically and lyrically, the teaser for the band's upcoming album hits a new recent low for widely played music. And not surprising, rock radio stations have responded by putting the track into heavy rotation.
Nothing works better for catching the favor of today's radio programming staff than titillating teenagers with some sex talk. Similarly, the easiest way for a late-'90s one-hit wonder to regain radio play is to divert listeners away from its lack of talent with something semi-scandalous. The result? "Crazy B's" chorus:
Hey/ You're a crazy bitch/ But you [strategically censored on commercial radio]
so good,/ I'm on top of it/ When I dream, I'm doing you all night/ Scratches all down my back/ to keep me right on
A good solid song turns a listener on with provocation, gratification and satisfaction; "Crazy Bitch," on the other hand, despite its hyper-masculine promises and come-ons, is an annoying and pitiful two pump chump. The rest of the lyrics
are as contrived as the chorus, and the song fares no better musically. With its wah-wah breaks and distortion-driven chorus, "Crazy Bitch" is both a funky jam-band track and a formulaic pop-rock number — successful as neither — and the indecisive style does nothing to help distiguish Buckcherry from any of the other wussy sounding pop-rock bands.
Last year, music critics and connoisseurs watched in disbelief as the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps" became the most downloaded song on the internet.
Like a B-grade horror flick, the sheer camp and schlock of the song made listeners' indifference impossible, giving "My Humps" an almost giddy appeal. The track danced to a simple tick-tock beat so silly that no one before dared to seriously lay it down, and the Black Eyed Peas also managed to somehow
keep a straight face while rhyming original, albeit awful, lines such as "my humps" with "my lady lumps." The result was ridiculous yet original.
Buckcherry's new track, on the other hand, simply spices up a stockpile of power chords and sophomoric innuendo already familiar to radio audiences. The trite "Crazy Bitch" doesn't come close to warranting the interest
"My Humps" received — unless it's attention from strip club
DJs or Hot Topic customers shopping for snarky T-shirts.
"Crazy B" invites contempt for the song and disdain for Buckcherry. It also calls for a further exodus of listeners from the declining institution of commercial radio.
— Taylor Carik (taylor dot carik at gmail dot com)
