IRN-BRU
Coca-Cola takes a lot of pride in being the world's favorite soft-drink, but it's got some tough competition in Scotland. More popular than Coke on a local level, and available with your Big Mac at the local McDonald's, IRN-BRU is an inexplicable hit in Glasgow and the surrounding area. Scots, globally acknowledged as the descendents of hairy, sword-swinging, kilt-wearing hill dwellers, are not the typical audience for soft drinks, and their choice of IRN-BRU marks them as unique.
There's no question about it: IRN-BRU is one-of-a-kind. Its orange color reminds the consumer of orange soda, but not exactly; it also possesses a sort of deep, zesty hue that recalls shades of rust, or wine. The initial smell is clean and cool, and vaguely reminiscent of tangerines. Staring at the bottle in hopes of locating more information is fruitless: the bottle will go as far as to describe its contents as a "sparkling flavoured soft drink," and no further.
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Drinking IRN-BRU is an experience unto itself. There's an initial rush of flavor, but of what sort is unclear; and then the distinct taste of water. Utilizing Scottish techniques that elude explanation, IRN-BRU somehow manages to taste more watery than water itself, something which is undoubtedly a boon to thirsty Scots the world round.
More involved sipping of the beverage reveals a flavor that's somewhere between a tangerine, iced tea and Nerds brand candy by Willy Wonka. Then it slips back into the no-aftertaste mineral zing of (Wisconsin) tap water.
The verdict is positive: IRN-BRU is refreshing, oddly colored, and unique. It's only a matter of time before American eccentrics are washing down their fish and chips with its sparkling flavour.
— James Norton (jim@flakmag.com)
