PA Musical Powerhorn

Unless you've been living in a cave for the past few months, you are aware of the megaphone mania that has been gripping the nation like no other fad before it. What is it about megaphones that has captured the public eye as of late? What intrinsic aspect of these sound-amplifying devices is responsible for the enchantment of the populace?

Flakmag has hired me to help shed light on this phenomenon by reviewing a particular megaphone, the Radioshack PA Musical Powerhorn (www.radioshack.com, enter the number 32-2037 in their ghetto catalogue search feature). So let's begin.

You would think that the key feature of a megaphone would be its ability to amplify sound, but in this case you would be mistaken. The key feature of this megaphone is the ability to play incredibly loud pre-recorded digital beeps. To help illustrate this point, consider the following dialogue in both regular and megaphone-enhanced modes —

"Hey mailman, thanks for the mail."

Or...

"HEY MAILMAN, THANKS FOR THE MAIL." [Song of "The Volga Boatman" done in electronic boops]

The megaphone is also handy for those difficult break-ups ("ATTENTION, HUSSY!"), family moments ("I LOVE YOU MOM!" ["We Shall Overcome," boop-style]), and even can be used for artistic purposes — I kicked open my friend's door, yelled through the megaphone, "IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST NIGHT AT FIGHT CLUB, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT!" and then played the First Noel. Something to think about.

So all in all, get your own megaphone! Be heard! Play "Hava Nagila" til your ears bleed! Amen!

— Dan Norton)