The Found Art of Shaving

Why have facial hair? To keep your face warm? To cover a scar, or the fact that you're starting to look like your father? Perhaps you're the Brawny Man and it's part of your contract. Then again, maybe you just hate raking a sharp blade against sensitive skin.

Shaving usually takes place in the wee hours of the morning, prior to your first cup of coffee, when you're either not fully awake or not fully sober from the night before. A safety razor is applied to the face, and because you treat the snooze button like it's the morphine switch in intensive care, time is of the essence. If the process takes more than five minutes, it's probably Saturday.

There was a time when this was an art form, before the electric shaver or the Mach 15 Cheese Grater Edition. Before the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, before every mafia clich&éacute;, a shave was something invigorating, something decadent, something that didn't require a roll of toilet paper to stanch the blood.

Enter MR, an exclusive grooming club in San Francisco. Does your barber have chandeliers, a shoe shine station and a fully stocked bar? MR does, and also offers a traditional straight razor shave, either as part of a monthly membership, or a la carte for about $65. (They have a strict no-tipping policy, but remember, this guy has an extremely sharp blade on your throat — consider tipping in advance). Given its location in the heart of the financial district, a good portion of MR's clientele will most likely be of the blue-button-down-white-collar-and-cuffs variety. Unless the coming recession is of 1920s proportions and turns these Gordon-Gekkoites into pavement soup, it's regulars like these that will most likely make up the lifeblood of the current private-shave wave, keeping it around for the walk-ins. Speaking of blood — though the combination of sharp blades and an open bar may give pause to some, the combination only adds to the excitement.

Once you're in the barber's chair, what was a five-minute morning sprint becomes a fantastic midday stroll. The whole process clocks in at just under an hour. An electric razor is used first to trim down the beard and sideburns, but from then on you're in Amish country. The sheer number of steps is mind-boggling. Orange blossom moisturizer is massaged in, warm towels are applied. More moisturizer is massaged in to get the surface properly prepped (and the right PH), then warm shaving cream is applied with a brush. At this point, trust kicks in. Partially, it's trust in your fellow man, but it's also trust in the market — if you're paying $65 dollars in a classy joint rather than five bucks in a back alley, you assume you're getting what you paid for. Better to have the stoic professional than the glad-handing jokester with the razor nicks on his knuckles. As the process moves forward, the client does not play a fully passive, reclining role; at times he is instructed to fill a cheek with air to tighten the skin, or extend the lip or neck to make the surface accessible. However, as pain goes, you could fall asleep in the chair until the last step, after all the detail work is done, the astringent/disinfectant is applied. For a moment, you are a 10 year old Macaulay Culkin, and every nerve of your skin is screaming to be left alone. As quickly as it arrives, it subsides. A cool towel, then a warm towel. More moisturizer, and a dusting of powder to reduce shine.

This is the male version of the day spa. As a guy, it's rare to get this much personal service, this much attention paid to your skin and your face, unless you're still in overalls. Like dressing up, watching a good romantic comedy or finding something worth crying about, you may not want to tell all your friends, but it's really quite nice. Unlike other comparable indulgences, like a $100 an hour massage, the slow shave process leaves you with more than just an inner feeling of relaxation. You're transformed. A 12-year-old version of yourself appears in the mirror. Your girlfriend may react positively from the smoothness of your skin, or lay off for a few days, feeling as if she has suddenly started dating a local junior high student. Though prohibitive in both price and time commitment as far as a daily routine goes, it's perfect for a special occasion. There is nothing better than spending time with a good beer, a good barber and a fresh face.