A copy editor at major metropolitan newspaper (Jason Alexander) wakes up one morning and realizes he can't remember how to spell "occasionally." He tattoos this and other hard-to-remember elements of spelling, style and grammar on his left forearm, and becomes the hero of the office until it is revealed that the tattoos were done with grape juice. They rapidly fade, and Alexander is fired.

Meanwhile, Cletus the Breakdancing Squirrel (Gary Coleman + computer effects) must win a dance contest to save a neighborhood teen center from a greedy developer (Jimmy Stewart + computer effects.)

Remains of the Day II: The Butler is Back

After a life of burning, unconsolable and repressed sadness, a refined English butler (Mr. T) comes back from the dead to terrorize a group of nubile teens spending a weekend at a broken-down manor house.

Catchphrase: "Murder is served, sir."

The Sweet Hereafter II: Keep th' Sweetness Comin'

Ian Holm returns as Mitchell Stephens, the hardnosed attorney with the heart of gold. Teamed up with his reformed (but wisecracking) daughter Zoey (Britney Spears), Stephens must prevent a gang of bumbling Serbian separtists from cutting the breaks on a schoolbus full of kids going to Washington D.C. to visit their congressman. Special cameo by Ralph Nader, who advocates consumer safety and/or gets a tasteful, Risky-Business-style blowjob.

Star Wars II: The Ashes of Probability

An older Qui-Gon Jinn (Tony Randall) and Jar-Jar Binks retire from the swashbuckling life to raise a mentally disabled boy while coping with the religious prejudice of a community that rejects their Jedi spirituality. As Jar-Jar struggles with drink, Qui-Gon has a darker secret: His meager pension has run dry, and he's supporting the family by selling his body to space-tourists.

Song and dance numbers initially promise some relief from the torrent of existential grief, but they turn out to be as sapped of vitality as the film's protaganists. Damon Wayans provides a moment of lightness with his cameo as Eeglackah-Gackah, the two-headed intergalactic tax accountant who banters with himself.

The Insider II: Smokin' in the Boys Room

A team of whistleblowing employees at a tobacco plant (Mötley Crüe) need to find common ground with an earnest, Yale-educated television journalist (Tom Green).

Once they do, the whole team goes to Indonesia, where they drink maitais with Mothra, battle Communist insurgents and have a final tropical-flavored rock-vs-rap showdown with the aging members of RUN-DMC.