An elegantly dressed guest lecturer is wrapping up his presentation in a large classroom at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. He is speaking to a group of freshman biology students. They have been instructed by their regular professor to be polite, and ask questions after the lecture is concluded.

Rupert Sheldrake: ...so, in summary: Morphogenic Fields are our way of trying to explain the way nature remembers things. An overlap of creativity and routine behavior shapes the way different life forms behave, and this evolutionary learning process is essentially retained as a collective, species-wide memory.

In a nutshell, every life form has some impact on the behavior of every other life form, particularly those within its own species. All of our actions feed into and are fed by Morphic Resonance. Are there any questions?

[A veritable forest of hands shoots up. Sheldrake points at a neatly dressed young man sitting near the back of the room.]

Student: Do Mormons have Morphogenic Fields?

Sheldrake [somewhat startled]: Well, yes. In a sense. I mean, the theory is more general than that. There aren't special Mormon fields per se, if that's what you're driving at.

Student: So they don't?

Sheldrake: No, they do. They participate in the greater field that binds together all humans, and beyond that, all life forms. Mormons are not excluded from the omni-field, if you will, that brings all natural things together.

Student: So, like, if a Mormon in Salt Lake City was eating, like, a hamburger... and a Mormon in New Orleans was vibrating a lot or something — you know, could the Mormon in New Orleans taste the hamburger?

Sheldrake: Well, no. Or even if he or she could, that's not entirely the point. Does anyone else have a better question?

Another Student: I do. Can I use Morphogenic Fields as a weapon? I mean, to just, you know, mess up someone's dorm room, or blow up a Wendy's or something?

Sheldrake [exuding a palpable aura of patience]: Well, that's not really the idea. I mean - what you must understand about Morphogenic Fields is that they aren't some sort of supernatural tool. You can't use them to gain powers that human beings don't already have. They're just a way of understanding the way life forces resonate and affect both each other, and future generations.

Student: Like reruns?

Sheldrake: What?

Student: Okay, have you ever seen "What's Happening!!"

Sheldrake [clearly hesitant]: Not that I can recall...

Student: Allright, so in the 1960s or something they had this show called "What's Happening!!" And in every episode, all the characters would hang out, and joke around and stuff. And even though it was only made in one place, at one time, TV broadcast it all over the place, and people are still watching it.

Sheldrake: Well... that's not a completely bad analogy...

Student: Wait, here's the ironic part: There's a character on the show NAMED "Rerun." And the show is ACTUALLY a rerun right now, when they show it!

Sheldrake: ...

Student: So, that's kind of like a Morphogenic Field, right?

Sheldrake: Are there any other questions?

[About 15 hands go up]

Sheldrake: Are there any other questions not pertaining to television, super-powers, or things being blown up?

[14 of the hands go back down]

Sheldrake: You there. The reasonable-looking one.

Third Student: Uh, yeah. So, would it be fair to say that Morphogenic Fields are the reason why certain very complicated things we do, like speaking a language, or swimming, are so instinctive and easy to do after an initial learning curve? Is it sort of like Morphic Resonance has prepared our minds for these skills, since our ancestors have been doing these things for so long?

Sheldrake [enthusiastically]: Yes. Exactly. You've got a grip on the material. Thank you!

Student: The reason I ask this: I feel really comfortable about "booting."

Sheldrake: What's, uh... what's "booting"?

Student: You know. Talking to the dinosaurs on the big porcelein phone.

[after a pause of noncomprehension, the student makes a series of vomitty noises, like BLAAAAAGH and WAAAAABLLLBB]

Sheldrake: Oh yes. "Booting."

Student: So, you know how you drink, and you normally want to get as much Coors Lite as you can without actually getting sick all over the place? I've been overdoing it, a LOT, and I'm worried I may have a Morphogenic Field. Can I get rid of it with a battery or, like, microwave shocks or something?

Sheldrake: Yes. Yes, you can. Thanks everybody. You've been a great audience. I'm going back to England, now.