Mr. Smith Goes to Venice Beach

Recently re-elected Senator Smith (Jimmy Screwart) is sent on his first junket, a fact-finding mission sponsored by the California Tourism Board. While in Venice, the Senator is shocked and saddened by the scanty bathing suits worn by nubile young beachgoers, disturbed and outraged at the quality of the mattresses in the local Motel Six, and disillusioned and disappointed by the number of girls he manages to squeeze into his inadequately sized room Jacuzzi. Ends with something the Senator describes as a "filibuster."

12 Horny Men

A well-hung jury deliberates behind closed doors in a Brooklyn courtroom, and it's sexuality itself that's on trial. A single jury member (Lance Large) declares early in the procedings that he is ready for all-male "oral arguments." The other men are taken aback, but as the room heats up, one member after another changes his plea from "not guilty" to "guilty, guilty, oh God am I guilty." Ends with a 12-man circle felch that is definitely out of order, but totally admissible.

Casaboinka

Former freedom fighter Rick Blaine ("Humpy" Bogart) is a nightclub owner in World War II-era Casablanca. Ilsa is the aide to Czech resistance leader Victor Laszlo. Marybeth, Passion, Madison Miles, Symphony, and Lucy Luck all appear to be busty barmaids, but are actually working as undercover agents for British Intelligence. After some initial shots of sand dunes, the film really fails to follow the original plot, except for some heated repetition of the phrase "play it again!"

Cinemaphiles may note that the original phrase was actually "play it, Sam." They may also note that the original Rick Blaine wore pants, not a studded leather codpiece.

On the Waterbed

As in "On the Waterfront," the film's hero is beaten and blackballed for informing against mobsters who have taken over his union. But unlike the original, the beating is consensual, "blackballed" has a non-pejorative alternative meaning and the union is an association of kinky caterers who double as sex workers when the price is right.

The famous "I coulda been a contender" speech still takes place in the back seat of a taxi, but is "recontextualized."