Top Ten Reasons Libby Called Off Computer Dating

10. Feared students, heady with the enormous power of having run a computer dating service, would riot and demand edible cafeteria food.

9. Had actually had affairs with the male teachers listed in question #2, and was afraid the whole system was an elaborate student council blackmail scheme.

8. Was afraid the computer system would pair her up with janitors.

7. Feared that too many successful matches would lead to an increased teen pregnancy rate.

6. Knew the odds were against her ever being matched with her dream date, Leo Sidran.

5. Having been bought as a Russian Mail Order bride herself, was unfamiliar with and frightened by the whole concept of "dating."

4. Liked all the questions right up until the one that ridiculed her hairstyle.

3. Thought the survey didn't contain enough snide references to oral sex.

2. Believed that dating computers was immoral.

1. Had already secretly tested the dating system herself, and was matched up exclusively with members of Chess Club.