"Rent-A-Cop Killer Stirs Controversy"Liberator Supreme Command Council members have come under fire from the press and administration officials for their endorsement of the top 40 album "Bastin' the Hell Turkey," which included the track "Rent-A-Cop- Killer," which specifically targets Tri-State Security personnel as the subjects of injury and sexual humiliation. School Administration officials were described as being "mildly perturbed" by lyrics on the "Bastin"' album, and responded by creating a student advisory program known as Fucking Up Everyone's Mind, or F.U.E.M. for short. During this sensitivity training seminar, students are taught the importance of respect for token law enforcement. Surprisingly, the response has been less than positive. The band responsible for the song, "Sons of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir" could not be reached for comment, however the investigative branch of The Liberator was able to obtain a sample of the new underground album (which has been banned in every nation with exceptions of Zimbabwe and Antarctica). Here is a taste of what we heard:
"Yo! My hamster's pissed off! Controversy erupted into violence when one of the groups fans released a pack of feisty hamsters on one such rent-a-cop, and had it not been for the courageous efforts of one of his comrades-'n-arms, (actually, they're only armed with flashlights, but this sounds nice doesn't it?) he would have been eaten to the bone. "Apparently, they were extremely annoyed by the sound of jingling keys, which must be why they attacked my hip first," the dazed peace officer said. When asked why the Liberator continued their endorsement of "Roasting in the Pits of Hell," Liberator editor-in-chief replied: "Hell, I didn't even know the song's name until now, but hey! Any song that's been banned in so many countries is dripping with publicity, and since when is it illegal to capitalize on a perfectly legitimate business opportunity?" Good point Ed.! Fight the power! |