Khan Games

by James Khan

An interesting phenomena that I've noticed, (and have decided to pass along to you, the educated and discriminating Liberator reader) is that of Collectable Plates.

To sum up what everyone should know about these plates is rather easy; they are standard dinnerware, made by a "mint" (read: cheap collectibles factory) stamped with a something that a lot of people recognize. Like Elvis. Or Spiro Agnew. Or Brokaw. The idea behind these plates, as the ads express it (and note, I may have dressed their language up alittle) is simple:

"Buy this ugly plate, not so that you may enjoy it as a part of your dinnerware collection, but as an INVESTMENT. Something to guarantee that your kids get through college." This, to any alien stepping off a spaceship, is simply a ridiculous idea.

"Let's get this straight. Rather then investing in gold, or weapons, or hoarded foodstuffs, you people buy PLATES?" And we'd have to admit, yeah, some people actually think they'll make money on these. And the scary part is, they will.

Why? Because, (and the Bradford Exchange will attest to this) lots and lots of people are convinced that these plates are worth something, just because every month they get a slip of paper from the Exchange people saying: "Look! Your 'Billy Carter's First Bath' plate has increased in value by 19%!" Result? They can sell their plate to other people for a profit, just because the company that made it says it's worth a certain amount.

My idea: why stop with plates? Why can't we branch out? We'll start with a McDonald's collectible beverage container exchange, and move on to more sophisticated marketing techniques: how about collectible forks? Be the first one on your block to own a genuine Dave Letterman spork set! Maybe collectible bibs, with little pictures of the three Elvises (Young Elvis, Old Elvis and Living Behind An Indiana 7-11 Elvis) on it will become the new rage. Well, I'm off to lunch. You never know what kind of investments will turn up in the cafeteria...