Horatio the Dromedary

A story by the Three Headed Vomit Entity

Horatio was a dromedary who lived in Northern Uganda. Horatio was in love with a beautiful chimpanzee named Jane. However, Jane loved a young human called Tarzan. Horatio plotted to kill Tarzan, but there were no affordable weapons in Northern Uganda so he agreed to buy a wooden stake from a nearby lumberjack. Once he had the stake, he planned to kill Tarzan and get Jane, the beautiful chimpanzee. However, he ran into a slight problem: you see, dromedaries don't have opposable thumbs, so he couldn't hold the stake to kill Tarzan.

This depressed him so much that he contemplated suicide, but without thumbs he couldn't shove the stake through his heart. So, having no other choice, he decided to drown himself, but he wasn't looking where he was going and he tripped. He looked down to see an automatic handgun. He devised a plan: by standing on two legs, he could hold the gun between his two front paws and pull the trigger with his tongue. Doing this, he shot and killed Tarzan. His intestinal tract exited the body and dropped on the ground six feet away. When June saw Horatio she immediately forgot Tarzan and fell In love with Horatio. They kissed long and lustfully and when they finished they were magically turned Into humans; the most beautiful woman and the most handsome man. But enough of that mushy stuff - these two were hungry. Horatio took the stake he had dropped earlier and strung Tarzan's Intestinal tract across it. He barbecued them on a nearby gas grill and the two of them had Tarzan shishkibob for dinner. Then they lived happily ever after.

Editor's query- It took three people to write this?