Beverly Hills 90210 And The Fall Of The Roman Empire

Loudmouth Opinion by James Khan

People have been mourning the death of American Culture for close to 200 years, hailing everything from the waltz to rap music as being the end of civilization. They were all wrong, of course; I've found the real cause of our impending downfall.

The Roman Empire, among many other things which do little to contribute to my article, was famed for its fall, which was marked by a lack of public interest in politics and war; instead, common citizen and Senator alike found themselves absorbed by grand spectacles of sport such as gladiatorial contests, and grandiose orgies of every kind.

While not on the scale of a Roman orgy, this sort of interest in the trivial and titillating has picked up a frightening amount of speed lately, with public attention becoming focused more and more on television shows along the lines of "Beverly Hills 90210," "The Heights," "2000 Malibu Place" and a host of imitators. Featuring wise-cracking, slow-thinking, fancy-dressing, self-absorbed brats who are styled as being hip, shows from the new "90210" genre focus on amazingly trivial personal problems. To satisfy any viewers who, by mischance, actually have a shred of awareness of the real world, a token "issue of the week" is thrown into each episode to maintain a tiny scrap of credibility. A recent episode of "Melrose Place" featured a "stalking" of one of the self-absorbed fashion model main characters by a small, non-fancy dressing character. This problem was solved by one of the large self-absorbed male characters simply punching the small stalker in the face. Very clever solution. I salute the writers.

When real issues are avoided, and real entertainment is replaced with lame-brain soap-opera plots, an entire nation of TV viewers pays for it; either more intelligent, creative shows along the lines of "Late Night With David Letterman" or "60 Minutes" are denied a shot at airtime, or I000s more suckers are lured into the trap of forgoing better things (such as real life!) to watch sleazy prime-time soaps.

So. When presented with a chance to watch one of the new "Spoiled Brats On Their Own" shows, MISS IT. Watch something else, take a walk, pass out, or even (dare I mention it?) read a book. Just don't watch. Maybe our countries TV producers and executives will get the message. Here's hoping you find something better to do.