Flak Magazine: Review of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, 05-16-02

By now Star Wars movies have become much like a fast food franchise. No matter which one you stumble into, you can count on certain things being the same. You know in each film there will be some version of the famous Cantina scene from the original; you know there will be female royalty in distress; you know that outer space will be populated by British actors; you know there will be a climactic light sabre battle. And, like McDonalds, billions have been served. Rest assured, Episode II has all the hallmarks of the franchise, except in this version there is a little more special sauce than usual.

The first half of the movie could just as well be called "Naboo: 90210," since it is basically a teen romance told in very slow motion. It's probably important for the plot that Anakin and Amidala throw lingering, tormented glances at one another in Italianate palaces drenched in golden light, but after a while it begins to seem like the world's longest Revlon commercial. The second hour, on the other hand, is where the movie picks up the pace and delivers on all that the Star Wars brand name promises. To put it another way, if you arrive at the theater an hour late, you won't miss much.

In the proper tradition of serials, Attack of the Clones picks up directly where The Phantom Menace left off. The story revolves around the Republic's attempts to deal with the problem of massive secessionist movements on all sides that threaten its political and social integrity. It seems that, inexplicably, the mighty, star-spanning Republic has adopted the same defensive strategy as the Vatican in our day, and for its security depends entirely on the futuristic (well, distant-pasturistic, but you get the idea) equivalent of Swiss Guards: several hundred Jedi Knights. Why they would adopt such a policy is a question that is conveniently avoided. Queen Amidala is back as the official Senator from Naboo, coming across as a perverse combination of Jane Fonda and Jane Austen. An attempt on her life at the very beginning of the movie sets in motion an investigation by Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker which, along the way, uncovers a vast conspiracy to dismember the Republic and turn it into a galactic version of Enron. These developments provide many opportunities for the ritual display of the Star Wars franchise standards enumerated above. There are absolutely no surprises at that level.

What is surprising, and welcome, is that Episode II does not remain content to regurgitate its brand identity. Rather, it embellishes that identity in several different ways, with delightful and intriguing results. One aspect of the movie that was unexpected is its technique of pastiche. In almost every scene Attack of the Clones is consciously riffing on other science fiction films, quoting them both to pay homage and, one strongly suspects, to show how Lucas has improved on them. For example, there is a long, airborne chase sequence near the beginning of the film that is clearly an updating both of Blade Runner's urban fantasy and The Fifth Element's traffic management scenario. Later on, Lucas updates his own American Graffiti in the setting of a future coffee shop. There is even, toward the end, a wonderful homage to the special effects of Ray Harryhausen, who was the master of stop motion special effects in the '50s and '60s (if you've seen Jason and the Argonauts, Clash of the Titans or The Seven Voyages of Sinbad, you've seen his work). That this homage is located within a larger allusion to Gladiator shows you how complex the system of references is in the film.

Another embellishment is the complexity and ingenuity of the plot. The bare facts of the plot are taken fairly directly from Roman History (Suetonius should have shared screenwriting credit), but the massive double-cross these facts illustrate is exquisitely thought out and executed. Yet this success creates a difficulty on another level for Episode II. The bad guys are so wonderfully adept, complex and sophisticated, that the Jedi wind up looking like so many hayseeds, and therefore very far from heroic. Herein lies the problem for the franchise: The more like the real world Star Wars becomes, the less believable its mythical superstructure seems. When Jedi Knights are fighting monsters and dark galactic death lords, you just sit back and enjoy the show. When they take on the equivalent of modern politics with all its subtleties, they just seem, well, dumb. It will be interesting to see how Lucas resolves this problem in the last movie.

The last hour of the movie contains some truly stunning battle sequences whose special effects are breathtaking and, for once, actually serve the storytelling rather than overwhelm it. The second half is also where Lucas finally makes good on the premise of the prequels: to provide meaningful connections between the events of the first Star Wars film and the past. There are lots of "Aha!" moments in the second half, where you begin to see how it all fits together, some in very clever ways. It's just a shame that Lucas got halfway through his prequels before realizing this was their purpose.

The acting is, as usual, uniformly awful. This was true even in the first Star Wars movie, but as the novelty of the premise wears off, it increasingly becomes a liability. Indeed, a Star Wars movie seems to actually suck acting talent from otherwise excellent actors, like Ewan McGregor, whose Obi-Wan Kenobi would embarrass a high school thespian club. Hayden Christensen's performance as the adolescent Anakin Skywalker is particularly bad. There are lawn ornaments with greater capacity for expression than Christensen brings to the role. But then, people don't go to Star Wars movies to see great acting, any more than they go to a fast food franchise for haute cuisine.

One can only hope that the Episode III turns out to be a Happy Meal. Judging from the progress made in Episode II, that seems likely.

— Niall Lynch (suomilad at yahoo dot com)