Flak Magazine Letters

Jan-Apr 2004

Flak welcomes any and all feedback from its readers. Due to quality constraints, not all letters can be printed in their entirety. Letters may be edited for length. Please send your letters to the writer of the piece you'd like to comment on.

If you'd like your comments to be reprinted on our letters page, please give your full name, city, state, province and country, as appropriate. We will not give out your e-mail address or URL without your permission. Unsigned letters will not be printed.

Send general letters to letters@flakmag.com.

"...enlightening..."
04-15-04
To: Flak Magazine
Re: Flak Magazine Statement on James Norton

Dear Flak,

thank you for the enlightening statement on James Norton. It turned my attention to several articles I had somehow missed in the past. My only correction is on The Netherlands, which does exist as a miniature themepark near Amsterdam, Germany.

Kind regards,
Robert van Dijk
Sint-Oedenrode, Nederland

Flak Magazine responds
Re: Flak Magazine Statement on James Norton

Hi Robert,

thanks for your letter, and also for your correction. We remember now — it's that place where everything is made of brightly colored, interlocking plastic bricks, right?

Best,
Flak Magazine
USA

"Philistine..."
03-28-04
To: Andy Stilp
Re: Statehood Quarters

Dear Mr. Stilp, if that is your real name. Your recent article on Flak Magazine commenting on the fiasco that is the "state-back" quarter campaign by the U.S. Mint, was, for the most part, decent. In fact, I even enjoyed a few parts. Also, I learned a little something about Missouri that I didn't know before. However, as a lifetime Montanan, I must object to your characterization of my beloved home state as place that "couldn't bleed a drop of culture if their statehood depended on it." Apparently you have never been to Montana, or if you have you must have been sleeping or passed out drunk. Our state is simply rife with culture and plenty of quality "quarter-backing" material.

Did you know that the great poet and novelist Richard Brautigan lived and died (by his own hand) in Pine Creek, Montana, not thirty miles from where I spent my formative years? I thought not. Philistine. Also, one of the great poets of our time Richard Hugo taught at the University of Montana in Missoula. "Sure," you are probably saying, "but that's not quarter-back material." Perhaps not, but what about the Battle of the Little Bighorn, commonly known as Custer's Last Stand? The great American Indian leader Sitting Bull would be a quite appropriate back-up to Mr. Washington, I think, perhaps with the epigraph "Custer Died For Your Sins." Charles Russell also painted many of his masterpieces right here in beautiful Montana, "the last best place," as it is known. Montana was also once known as "the stubbed-toe state," due to the poverty of its populace and the resulting inadequacy of their footwear (though I don't think this is anything we'd want to go advertising on our quarter, mind you. I just thought you might be interested, since you so obviously know nothing about our beloved state).

We also have many natural wonders here, such as spectacular Glacier National Park (international, actually; we let Canada have a small chunk so they wouldn't feel so inferior. Montanans are noted for their generosity and compassion). As if all that weren't enough, the good people of "the Big Sky state" (bigger than any other state's, or so I have been led to believe) carry on the ancient tradition of constructing large letters out of white stones (or sometimes concrete) on the hillsides surrounding their towns, usually the initial of the local high school or post-secondary institution. These gargantuan monoliths are similar in effect to the great pyramids at Giza, instilling all who gaze upon them with wonder and awe at the great works that man hath wrought.

All told, the great state of Montana, "land of gold and silver," is practically overflowing with culture, history and quarter-backside worthy imagery. Wyoming, on the other hand, will probably end up going with that lame-ass cowboy from their license plate, those poor, cultureless, red-neck motherfuckers.

Yours in Montana,
Josh Davis