Flak Magazine Letters
Jan-Apr 2001
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4-28-01
To: Peter
Re: Adderall
Yeah, I think your article on Adderall is a godsend.
Finally someone realizes the true use and potential of this gift to man.
Adderall is the only thing that can get me to clean out my car, to do massive stacks of laundry, and clean out my garbage after I party for a few days straight.
It keeps me on track, and I love it.
Memnon
4-23-01
To: Eric Wittmershaus
Re: Best of the '90s: Music
Eric,
You make the egregious error of omitting Jeff Buckley's cover of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah", which might be up there for the most beautiful song, cover or otherwise, of the 90s. It seems you have decent taste in music; I'm guessing you've heard the song before. If so, why'd you leave it off? If not, find a copy of "Grace", listen to the song, then realize exactly how inexcusable your omission was.
Brad Haywood
4-19-01
To: Ben Welch
Re: Days of Blunder
I just read your story on the NASCAR issue and to be quite frank I think you have to much time and not enough to do. dips--t!!
Perhaps you would be happy to see us all watching bumper cars going around a at 25 mph! These guys do what they do knowing full well the danger involved.
Perhaps you think we should have some new government regulation to oversee this. Just what we need. More pin heads like you poking there noses into our everyday life. I can see it now a immobilized driver in a bright red bumper car going 25 mph! Right, no danger there. Would you be happy then. Great entertainment Right. Pin head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chuck Gregory
4-18-01
To: Lindsay Robertson
Re: Blow
I don't think I've ever responded to a film review before, but I thought I would let you know what I thought of your review of Blow. I thought it was great. And I say that having read all of the other major reviews I could find online (I often read the reviews after I've seen the film as opposed to before).
In any case, yours was the only one in my opinion that summed up the true error of the film: the culmination of the entire story ending up as a contrived emotional epiphany very suddenly to the viewer. At the mid-point of the film when I could see this coming I was just bummed, because I enjoyed the first half. Anyway, many other reviewers made attempts at making this statement but I believe were sidetracked. Thanks or making yours so pointed.
Brett
4-11-01
To: James Norton
Re: Playing Diablo II
Hello,
As a "Diablo II" aficionado myself, I didn't have such a good laugh for a long time! You just summarized it up quite well, I must say - and you taught me something about myself, too :-)
Anyway - FlakMag is simply a pearl under heaps of manure representing what is called lovingly "The Internet" ! Sometimes you just need a thoughtfully presented opinion among all these masses of bare facts and raw data to orient yourself - and your mag satisfies this need extremely well!
Thanks for the good moments I had (and will have) on your pages,
yours sincerely,
Cornelius Werner
Germany
4-09-01
To: Stephanie Kuenn
Re: Sitcom character or dictator?
Regarding your review of Guess the Dictator/sitcom Character:
You mention Ronald Reagen as counting as an evil dictator. Let me explain to you that Ronald Reagan was the President of the United States of America, not a dictator of some socialist shit hole. Obviously the college you attended failed to teach you the basics needed to survive in the real world.
John
3-23-01
To: James Norton
Re: Playing Diablo II
So, this article singing the foibles of Diablo II inspires me to defense of the successful title.
Let's hit the finer points of the article, first: Diablo II is a linear story, and pure hack and slash. Certain elements aren't realistic. It's addictive.
These are pretty much undeniable facts. I can testify to the fact that it's addictive, but Norton is discounting, or not mentioning, the real selling point of the game: Large multiplayer.
What hidden gems are lurking in Diablo II, other than neat stunts with the Horadric Cube? Let's tackle what Norton and Weitner identify as the core element to making the game successful: a sense of accomplishment. I think the key to this is actually interacting with a DII addict. To this end, I summon the semblance of two former roommates, M and J. J loved the first Diablo, for much the same reasons he likes DII. Decent hack and slash RPG, and multiplayer aspects. M is in pretty much the same boat.
To observe two DII players, sitting side by side, talking tactics, getting excited over new toys, beating down hell spawn, is a sight to behold. They're doing exactly what I think the authors of DII intended: Socializing. You can't discount an "addictive" or "pointless" game like DII without dropping the hammer on Magic: The Gathering, Pokemon, and any other game based on collecting. They're all successful for the one thing they do in common: Bring people together.
So what other things does DII teach, then? What other valuable aspects does it have? How about not biting off more than you can chew? Being prepared? Assessment and comparison shopping? These are really subtle nuances that most people don't readily associate between games and *gasp* real life! I won't disagree (entirely), DII *can* be something of a mind-numbing escape, an outlet of hack and smash type energies on entities truly deserving of such, designed for exactly that purpose.
So, to DII, I say Salud! The escape and outlet you provide has most likely kept hundreds and thousands of gamers from strangling some aggravating snot who probably really needed it.
Bill Nash,
Content Editor
Evil Ed's Video Game Action News
3-20-01
To: James Norton
Re: Chick Publications
I praise your work for letting people know about the down right falsehoods being proclaimed in the name of Christ, who is not, by the way, the author of confusion. I mean, we have to run these people armed with Chick tracts off our parish's grounds!
Keep up the good work,
Bradley S Benefield
3-09-01
To: James Norton
Re: An Open Letter to Paul Allen
James — thanks for writing. I apologize for the delay in responding but I'm glad you forwarded the piece. As you know, the Allen family supports a wide range of charitable causes, especially arts and music organizations, primarily in the Pacific Northwest. In terms of scale and scope we are one of the largest grantmakers in the region, and our support of public art programs is significant on several Seattle capital projects. The arts foundation itself is chartered to support projects and organizations that advance the visual, performing, and literary arts; feature local, regional, and national artists in a variety of disciplines; and encourage public participation and the promotion of critical thinking. You raise some interesting ideas in your story - thanks again for writing.
Jason J. Hunke
Director, Marketing & PR
PGA Foundations
2-26-01
To: Clay Risen
Re: Garden Gnomes
Hi. I am a high school student doing a reaserch paper on gnomes. Do you believe they really exist in life? If so why? Your answer could really help my paper.
Thank you very much!!!
Alexa
Re: Garden Gnomes
Dear Alexa,
I can't say that, for all the garden gnomes I saw over the course of the year, I ever saw any that even came close to being alive. Most of them were, on close inspection, made not of flesh and bone but high-quality ceramic and all-weather paint. Now, that doesn't mean there aren't other, non-ceramic, living breathing gnomes out there, but I can't say I ever saw proof.
Although, there is one thing — that winter was really brutal, and for about two months all the gnomes were buried under the snow. When the snow melted, several of the gnomes on my street had disappeared. One house up the hill had had seven of the little fellas out front in November; come February and there were only four. I don't know if this means anything, or if it even answers your question, but it's the closest thing that's ever come to making me believe.
Good luck with your paper!
Clay Risen
2-22-01
To: Julia Lipman
Re: That is All
Let's get the attribution right.
My friend and ex-colleague John Hodgman, now known to the world as McSweeney's Former Professional Literary Agent, began using "That is all" as the tag line for his reader's reports here at Writers House back in the early 90's, when he first came here.
All of his not-infrequent postings to McSweeney's end with "That is all." He is the creator and originator of this fine little trend, and all subsequent uses by the McSweeney-ites have post-dated his.
Is this important? Probably not, but as McSweeney's seems extra-eager to run clarifications these days, I thought you might want to run one of your own.
"That is all."
Simon Lipskar, Agent
Writers House
2-18-01
To: Flak staff
Re: Flak Magazine
Hi
Just a note to say I think this is a very impressive website. It's rare to find such perceptive and balanced criticism and critique on-line; my congratulations.
S B Kelly
2-16-01
To: Eric Wittmershaus
Re: Asian Pears
I have a friend who thinks cilantro tastes like soap. Maybe it's your tastebuds that are giving you trouble, causing you to miss the delicious, succulent, richness of an asian pear. Have you thought of that? Instead of going on a rampage about the the lack of taste in an asian pear, maybe you should have more statistics to support your view. There is a reason why people pay such a high price for it.
I think American taste buds are so saturated by fat and sugar that some of us may have trouble with any food that is not so strong that it overpowers us. For example, many can't eat lobster or crab without suffocating the taste with salted butter even though shell fish has a unique taste on its own. I think it's a shame. The next time you are offered a delicacy, you might want to admire the subtlety in some food without covering it in catsup and butter.
2-16-01
To: Clay Risen
Re: Are the kids all Right?
Congrats on your flakmag article about the FPÖ is Austria.
Your article makes a good point, which, generally, comes close to something you might call "truth." Also, I have to thank you for presenting a differentiated view on the topic, something which is unusual in a discussion about (or in) Austria.
Still, being a young, well-educated male Austrian, I feel the need to point out quite a few things to you.
"young, middle-class, well-educated folks, people"
I guess the problem here stems from different perceptions of what "middle class" means. Here, in Austria, nobody would consider the average FPÖ voter middle class.
The problem is that Austria still has a class system in which the average skilled worker is normally considered lower class. To be middle class, you have to sit behind a desk, no matter how little actualy knowledge is required for the job. Only those few academics the country has are upper class, just as long as they aren't high-school teachers. (Of course, i'm simplifying and being a bit cynical, but there is a huge difference between a carpenter in the US and in Austria).
The same problem goes for what you call "well-educated."
Those well-educated young Austrians (i.e. University students or the like) who support the FPÖ do so for reasons which are ideological, even "German national" colored. But they are few after all.
You also state that the Socialists and the Green Party draw their strongest support from the over-50 demographic; while this might hold true for the Soicalist party, the situation with the Green party is, especially after the political death of the Liberal Forum, different. Especially with their leader Van der Bellen (who, as a person, is an interesting phenomenon, but i guess that's too much detail). The Green party is strong among the younger people, especially those who are well educated.
I am fully aware that my e-mail doesn't make too much of a point, and lacks in a coherent structure. Still, I guess you got the message.
greetings
Dr. Ennig
2-08-01
To: James Norton
Re: Chick Publications
Hey, Bubba!
That was a pretty low blow, insinuating that Chick's philosophy, if manifested, would result in a recreation of the Inquisition! I've reviewed practically every comic, book, and tract of his that I could obtain, and I've never found anything short of sheer contempt exhibited by him against that Catholic-led Protestant pogrom.
Check out my favorite unauthorized Chick website, the Jack Chick Museum of Fine Art, for more info, particularly the Inquisition page accessible via a link in the left-hand frame. I believe that Chick's own website at chick.com has more than a few things to say about the subject, though I don't browse that one quite as often as I do Monsterwax's tribute.
Drop the website's host a line when you can, preferably after you've reviewed his site, that he might obtain some precious feedback from another representative of that rare breed of people who've been so affected by Chick that they've devoted a website, or in your case a portion of a website, to that enigmatic iconoclast. The Chick Memories portion is where the discussions are documented, and you'll find your particularly cynical point of view already well represented, although there's always room for one more in that area.
Take care,
Ramon
2-08-01
To: Clay Risen
Re: Martin and Me
Hi,
Just read your peice on Kippy. Nice. I'm always looking for stuff on him.
I have been a fan since around 1983 and have built up quite an archive on him over the years up until his tragic death.
I have most of his catalogues, and probably most of the reviews (in English) from 1982.
Cheers,
Paul Dring
2-01-01
To: Stephanie Kuenn
Re: Cover Song: Season of the Witch
You provide a party-line definition of who Donovan was and what his music was like. While he wasn't Dylan, neither was anyone else. He wrote so many great songs and had such a great, moody, jazzy, playful way with lyrics. Plus he was totally freaky and spacey in a way Dylan never could be.
It's funny how Nick Drake, who is very close to Donovan in spirit and delivery, is now lauded as a great lost Romantic poet, just because he died young and was all self-important in his approach, while Donovan is derided by many because he was a goof, said and did some dumb things, and stuck around long enough to make some truly bad music (however, his Rick Rubin-produced Sutras album from a couple years back is not half bad!).
Donovan is sheer fun, and you can see his influence in a lot of great contemporary music. Also, it is questionable whether Luna really did improve on the original "Season of the Witch." While I admire Luna's instrumental prowess, they are far more bland and unimportant than Donovan himself.
Kelley McDonald
1-29-01
To: James Norton
Re: Chick Publications
I'll have you know Chick's documents have been supported by many scholars and ex-Catholics. I hope you're willing to evaluate this with more than just slander — more in the area of Documented Facts. If you cannot support you comments Biblically then please defer all future slander. As you are aware, Christians measure documentation according to Biblical reference e.g. "Judge not lest ye be judged of the same measure. We are told to love one another and treat your neighbor as yourself." It would do you a great courtesy to be so kind and respectful of dutiful individuals who seek out their faith with a passion. I ask, do you know Christ? Have you known his love?
It is a predominant America ideal that you should not judge others by your own personal standards — it lessens the value of your argument. If Chick wishes to express his personal opinion; then it is not our place to find his ideas of a unilateral or comprehensive form. If you wish to question his ideological perspective then you benefit yourself nothing. If you seek to measure a man's worth then provide a valuable tool of measure. However, it will profit you nothing to question Chick's credentials. Nobody has found a loophole yet. Therefore, an amendment or re-evaluation of your commentary would be greatly appreciated.
Thank You
Crystal Closser
Re: Chick Publications
Dear Ms. Closser,
Thanks much for writing. Your thoughts are much appreciated.
I regret that my article may have come off as being flippant about your religious faith. I certainly support — and have always supported — the right of anyone to believe whatever they wish.
However, I also believe it is vitally important that religious ideas be discussed and debated.
This means that Jack Chick may draw cartoons insisting that anyone not sharing his theological views will be treated to an eternity of torment at the hands of a wrathful God.
And it means I may write an article mocking that outlook, as I find it to be inherently offensive, and an intellectual stepping stone to a religious-based state that surpresses any non-sanctioned faith, or lack of faith.
Once it's established that "non-Christians" burn in Hell, the state can do a lot of fairly awful things to "save them" from that Hell. You may remember the Inquisition. It was founded on beliefs not unlike Mr. Chick's.
Religious bigotry and intolerance have always existed, and will always exist. In my opinion, Jack Chick's work is rife with both. He has a right to his views. And I have a right to condemn them.
You asked for Biblical documentation. I would refer you to I Kings 2:23-24, where she-bears emerge from the woods at God's behest, and slaughter children. I'm not sure how it backs up my argument, but you've got to admit it's interesting food for thought.
Anyway, thanks again for writing, and God bless America.
at your service,
Jim
1-22-01
To: Jeremy Richards
Re: Go
Dear Flakmag,
First of all congratulations on an excellent magazine. I happened to be flipping through your film section and came upon Jeremy Richards' review of Go. Personally, I couldn't disagree more with his assessment of the film. He may well be right in point out the film's references to Pulp Fiction, but I would call it neither two-faced nor shallow. You could equally say that Truffaut made references to Hitchcock in his movies...that doesn't make it a crime, especially for a new film-maker.
What it manages to do, quite successfully in my opinion, is to reinvent the youth market film, the mainly horrific teen romantic comedies, campus comedies and teens in peril genres which the triple, time-twisting plotlines devolve against the convention of A,B,C narrative we see most commonly. The mix of broad humour, suspense and road movie work beautifully towards an artfully-contrived denouement. On top of that, the script was sharp and witty, and more enjoyable than a great deal of the fare being pumped out by Hollywood at present (including X-Men and The Matrix combined).
If Go is shallow and two-faced at all it is consciously so, refelecting and commenting upon the Hollywood take on the times we live in.
John Dodds
The Scottish Borders
